“Had a father beat on me,” he answered and I fought my flinch. “Had to let that go. Had to get it out. So I did.”

“A woman was murdered?” I went on.

“Yeah. And I won’t know who or how or when, but if the man responsible bites it, I’ll know why.”

I fell silent.

His hand left me.

I felt bereft.

“Carissa, if this has to happen, it’s gotta happen now,” he declared. “You need this done, I gotta walk out the door. You give me more of you, more of Trav, make that decision later, you’ll strip somethin’ off of me that’ll never heal.”

“If you walk away from me, you’d kill me.”

His head jerked.

But I wasn’t done.

“And if you ever turn your back on the Club, I’d never forgive you, Carson Steele.”

Joker stood there, completely still, and stared at me.

“Aaron is going to do everything he can to ruin everything,” I told him. “And he might succeed. That frightens me. No, it terrifies me, because I don’t want to go through it again. But this time, I don’t want to put you or anyone else I care about through it. That said, whatever he takes, wherever I land the next time, and the next, and maybe even the next, I’ll survive, just as long as I still have Travis and just as long as I still have you.”

I got my last word out and then I had my back to the floor and Joker was on me.

He was tugging at my clothes.

I returned the gesture.

Desperate, breathing heavily, clothes flying, lips dragging, mouths connecting, tongues tasting, hands roaming, nails scratching, fingers tangling, we went at each other, Joker on top, me on top, and back, and again, until I could take no more.

“Condom, baby,” I breathed my plea.

He reached out and dragged his jeans our way.

“Back, spread, hold for me, Carrie,” he ordered.

I rolled off him to my back and did as he asked.

He rolled on the condom and wasted no time covering me.

But as frantic as it was getting to that point, right then, his body on mine, my legs circling his hips, my arms curved up his back, hands splayed on his shoulder blades, his eyes locked to mine, his weight in one forearm, the other arm under me, wrapped around my waist, I felt the tip and then he slid in slowly.

My lips parted as I took him inch by inch until he was buried completely.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he murmured, gaze still on me.

I closed my eyes.

I was in love.

I opened them and whispered, “Please, please, don’t ever mention leaving me again.”

His response was to dip his head and slide his nose along mine as he groaned, “I won’t, Butterfly.”

“Ever, Carson. Promise me.”

“Promise, baby.”

I touched my lips to his. “Thank you, sweetie.”

He slanted his head and kissed me.