Chapters (53)
- Front Cover
- Letter from the Author
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- • One •
- • Two •
- • Three •
- • Four •
- • Five •
- • Six •
- • Seven •
- • Eight •
- • Nine •
- • Ten •
- • Eleven •
- • Twelve •
- • Thirteen •
- • Fourteen •
- • Fifteen •
- • Sixteen •
- • Seventeen •
- • Eighteen •
- • Nineteen •
- • Twenty •
- • Twenty-One •
- • Twenty-Two •
- • Twenty-Three •
- • Twenty-Four •
- • Twenty-Five •
- • Twenty-Six •
- • Twenty-Seven •
- • Twenty-Eight •
- • Twenty-Nine •
- • Thirty •
- • Thirty-One •
- • Thirty-Two •
- • Thirty-Three •
- • Thirty-Four •
- • Thirty-Five •
- • Thirty-Six •
- • Thirty-Seven •
- • Thirty-Eight •
- • ∞ •
- • Thirty-Nine •
- • Forty •
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgments
- Excerpt from Be Dazzled
- One
- Two
- About the Author
- Back Cover
I’ve pricked myself with this stupid glue syringe, and a stray stone has drifted out of its spot. I shut up and correct it. Then I show the camera my work so far, hiding my bloodied finger.
“See how pretty that row is?”
I do another row in silence.
“This is a gorgeous color,” I say. “What would you guys call this color?”
I check the chat. Someone has responded with: blue lol?
“Well, yes. They’re…blue. But can anyone guess the specific color?”
I make myself do another row before checking again. When I look up, I see that someone by the name of Striker9 has said: Sea Foam Dream #6.
“Well, someone’s been on the Craft Club site!” I grin. “Yeah, the exact color of these is called Sea Foam Dream, and number six is the size. It’s super hard to find enough of them, since they’re a specific size and color.”
Truth is, I’ve gone to Craft Club twice in the last week to buy every bag they had.
“And you’d think one pack would be enough, but trust me, once you get going, you can burn through five or six of them in just one build. I’ve only done half of this fin, and I can already tell I’ll need to pick up a few more packs. But thanks to my generous benefactor, I’ve got enough to get a ton done tonight.”
As I bedazzle, I manage to keep talking. I try to keep it funny. Upbeat. A facade, because behind my act, there’s my typical uncertainty.
I wonder if what I’m creating will be enough to make me into what I want to be. I wonder if my mother is right, if I’d be better off putting my skills to use in the back rooms of fashion houses, handing off garments to assistants who smell like cappuccino and have massive iPhones. Working in fashion is glamorous if you have Evie’s high-society sensibilities, but for me it would be failure.
That fate feels far away from here and now, though, as I bedazzle a costume using gems donated by the internet. I’ve earned this, I tell myself. I am worth my best effort and a bag full of plastic gems at least.
“I’m out of gems! But I got both the arm fins done and half of the dorsal.”
I get ready to sign off. Usually I’d take a few questions, but it’s late, and my eyes are tired from staring into the glinting depths of five hundred little sea foam dreams.