I focus, keeping my body loose as I start to talk, preparing for my words to jumble but hoping they won’t. “When I went to Massachusetts, I told him that I wouldn’t be returning to Willow Creek—ever. He was always set to take over one of his family’s properties, and that wasn’t what I wanted.”

Grayson’s family’s properties came with strings, Mr. Parkerson made sure of it. His children were to be with likeminded and financially stable families. Their kids were to elevate them in society, not bring them down with gutter trash like me.

Never mind that I loved his son. Never mind that I treated him with respect and it wasn’t about the money.

It didn’t matter. My father was a piece of trash who left. My mother was a member of the Park Inn’s housekeeping staff, which meant I was completely unsuitable.

“Why wouldn’t you want that?”

“Because they told me that I was no better than my mother who cleaned their toilets. I was poor, and they would never accept me. And . . . I don’t know . . . he’d leave when he realized I wasn’t good enough. I wanted us to build our own life, travel, get out of this town. I wanted to start new, and he didn’t.”

“Did you and Grayson ever talk about that?”

I shake my head. “He was born and bred to take over. That was part of their legacy and each of the kids in his family have something to run. He would always choose them.”

She writes something in her notepad and then places it on the side table. “You know, I’ve known the Parkersons for a while. I don’t know them well, but I know a bit and then what I’ve observed. Family is important to them, but it’s not everything.”

“It was back then.”

“So, you prevented him from hurting you?”

I nod. “Exactly. I was being strong, making it so he didn’t have to leave me. I left him. And we were young, so it wasn’t going to work anyway.”

“It doesn’t sound like Grayson chose them. It sounds like you chose for him and then left before he could prove you wrong.”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

Dr. Warvel’s smile is triumphant. “That was easy.”

“I know what I did. I was young and scared. Also, my father leaving was horrible on my sister and me. It really screwed us up on the rules of dating.”

“That’s the thing about dating, the rules change, and sometimes, we don’t even know it.” She looks at her watch. “Our time is just about up, but let’s talk about your nightmares. Are they still causing you problems?”

“Yes.”

The crash is constant, and I’m exhausted. I’m ready for this nightmare to be over, but no matter what techniques I use, it continues.