Winnie gets up from the kitchen table, refilling her coffee. “That makes no sense. Not to mention it was bullshit I found out from Mom.”

“I have my reasons.”

It’s been two weeks. Fourteen whole days of keeping this to myself. The first few days, I didn’t say anything because I needed to digest it. I was so sure that after being cleared, I would get a migraine or faint or some other random thing that would set me back on restrictions. Waiting felt like the right thing to do.

When I realized I was being stupid, Amelia came down with a fever and Grayson needed all his focus to be on her. Since she’s still not back to a hundred percent, I’m clinging to that excuse until I can really make sense of my new life.

A life with Grayson and Amelia would be everything, so I’m not exactly sure what I have to work out.

But now that I can go, does it change things? I don’t know.

“Do you think that Grayson isn’t going to be happy?”

“I think I’m not in the mood to discuss this.”

Winnie takes a sip of her drink while not taking her eyes away from me. “If you want me to keep schlepping over here to drive you, then you should get in the mood.”

God save me from younger sisters. “Yes, the ten-minute drive is so inconvenient.”

“I didn’t say that. Jess, look, whatever it is that you’re afraid of, I’m sure it’s not a real thing.”

“I’m not ready,” I blurt out.

Winnie sits beside me. “Ready for what?”

“To deal with it. I came here with a plan, you know? I would heal and avoid all this messy stuff. Grayson was supposed to be married with a kid—”

“You made that shit up in your head.”

“I know, but that was the deal I had,” I explain, feeling foolish. “I got here, and a month later, that plan was obliterated. It’s been so good I can’t even be mad. We’re happy and things are great and now everything is going to change again. I know that’s life. God, I know all this, but my head and my heart won’t align.” I stand, needing to pace as my stomach does somersaults. I can feel myself getting worked up and queasy. “I’m not ready for it to change again.”

My sister watches me move around like a caged animal. “You can’t pretend, Jessica.”