“At least we had a late dinner after the lake and could use the excuse of being too tired to drive.”

“You know in, like, two years that won’t fly with her,” I break it to him.

“Are you planning to be around in two years?”

My heart starts to race because my initial instinct is to say yes. That I want to be here. I want to be in his bed, his life, and his heart. However, I don’t know if that’s the best option for me. What if I do get cleared and I can leave? While staying here has never been in my plans, everything is . . . unclear. I want things. Things that aren’t centered around a life in Willow Creek Valley, but then there’s Grayson and Melia. I want them. I just worry that, at some point, I’ll regret not going back to the hopes and dreams I once held.

The life I was living before coming back was full of possibilities. If I didn’t like where I was, it was simple to make a change.

Here there are no choices.

It’s the factory, the inn, or some other shit job where I’ll be working just to live.

“Hey,” Grayson calls my attention as I push away. “Why are you doing that?”

“Because I don’t know how to answer that in a way that doesn’t hurt.”

He sits up. “Then don’t say anything.”

I get out of the bed, getting dressed just in case Amelia wakes a bit earlier. “But that’s the thing, Gray. I want to answer it. I want to tell you that I will be here—with you and Amelia. I want to be able to say yes, but there’s this part of me that is screaming inside.”

“Telling you to pull away,” he finishes.

“And I don’t want to pull away. I feel like I’m being ripped apart.”

Seeing the place that Grayson wants to renovate into being his own inn was . . . too much. I still can’t fully understand how he’s owned this property for years and never showed anyone other than Melia.

He shakes his head, standing and pulling his shorts on. “I don’t want to tear you apart, Jess. I want to be the man who keeps you together.”

“Which is what you’re doing, but it’s terrifying.”

He touches my cheek. “It’s why I said slow.”

I give him a sad smile. “Right. But how do I slow down what I feel? None of what we’re doing is slow.”

I can see the hesitation in his eyes. “I’m trying too.”

“I know that, but tell me. Tell me, how do I slow my heart from calling out for you?”

“You don’t.”

“That doesn’t freaking help!”