She felt a visceral sense of loss. She shook off the emotion and forced herself to concentrate. She brought the pen to the page and began to write:

Dear Neil,

I am very sorry to have to leave you like this. But please try to understand. I am so very tired. And I’ve run out of options.

That day at the New York Deli when you asked me to marry you was the most important day of my life. You were so sweet when you told me how you wanted to let the rest of the world know how you felt. But I told you not to. You know why, Neil? I was scared what might happen if people found out about us. But I didn’t need to be scared of the world. The risk was all inside. And

I can’t live with myself any longer.

Realizing our dream has proven such an empty experience for me. There is a huge price to pay for the fame we craved. And I can’t pay any more.

All my love,
El

Without reading it over, she put down her pen and pushed the notepad away.

He reached over and picked up the pad with a gloved hand.

Heart pounding, Horton watched as he read the letter impassively. Without saying a word, he slid the notepad, page open, back onto the table beside the wine bottle.

Overcome by a surreal sense of relief, Horton put the pen down beside the notebook. She prayed that Neil might recognize the absurd note for the warning it was meant to be. She had done all she could. She felt strangely contented.

“Another glass of wine?” he asked.

She shook her head.

He gestured with his knife for her to stand. “Let’s go to the garage, Dr. Horton.”

She stood to her feet. “Will you let me take a CD with me?” she asked.

When he nodded, she walked to the portable stereo in the comer of the kitchen. She popped open the lid of the CD player and removed the disc of Grieg’s piano concerto.

She turned to him and said, “I’m ready now.”

50 - Seattle, Washington

50

Seattle, Washington

Sitting beside Warmack at the podium in the Department of Health’s conference room, Lopez couldn’t believe the difference in how she felt. Compared to the press conference of three days earlier, the glare of the spotlights was hotter, the room more crowded, and the tension heightened. And yet Lopez was overcome by a commanding calm. She didn’t know if it was her previous trial by fire or her awareness of their ace in the hole in the form of Oraloxin, but the charged up—at times hostile—crowd in front of her didn’t faze her.