“Yes!” I exclaim. “Sorry, I don’t mean to snap at you, but I’m under a lot of pressure here and you keep asking where I am, but it’s not where I am that’s important, it’s where I need to be…finding a location for Lauren’s party.”

“That’s where I think you’re wrong.” I can hear her smiling through the phone.

“Listen, Jules, I know you love a good brain teaser, but the clock is running down on me here, so I need straightforward responses.”

“It’s the simplest answer. You should have the party at JoAnna’s.”

* * *

I take another shot because hosting your friend’s bachelorette party in your boss’s penthouse apartment without her permission is super stressful. When Jules originally suggested it, my gut reaction was hell, no but then Lauren texted me how excited she was for the party and with no other options this late in the game, I caved, sending a mass text with the updated address.

The thing is I couldn’t even ask JoAnna for permission even if I wanted to. Her flight would land at LAX long after Lauren’s party was scheduled to start. And what if she said no? JoAnna has been nothing but kind to me, even motherly as I navigate this city on my own, but using her apartment for a personal gathering is definitely crossing into inappropriate territory. I scratch at my neck. Either the sequins on this rented dress are irritating my skin or breaking the rules is giving me hives.

In addition to giving me the idea to host the party at JoAnna’s, Jules called a caterer friend of hers that was able to make extra hors d’oeuvres last minute. She didn’t have time or ingredients for me to make personal selections so I was at the mercy of what Jamie and Greg picked for their Hawaiian luau themed wedding reception. So, Luau Thai chicken and sweet and sour meatballs it is!

While the rest of the ladies are out in JoAnna’s living room, snacking and sipping on drinks, thanks to an alcohol delivery service, I pull my custom-made pin the junk on the hunk game out of my tote. That’s right, Etsy, I made it myself and saved fifty bucks. Although the guy at Kinkos gave me a funny look when it came off the machine.

Ryan Gosling smiles back at me, the over-muscled body double I used for the lower half is disproportionate to the size of his head. The empty spot between his legs the intended target for my printed and hand-cut paper dicks.

“Chloe!” I can hear my friend Claire yelling for me down the hall.