“Again, it’s been a while. I will say I felt that and more the first time we kissed.”

“The first time I’ve ever felt that way was with you,” I admitted. “With him—kissing, petting, and later when it was more—we did it because we should. It wasn’t that either of us had a burning desire.”

The green in Van’s eyes shimmered. “I have a burning desire.”

Smiling and nodding, I replied, “So do I, Van. Red sin.”

“I’ll come check on you before I go to bed. If you want me to stay here, I will.”

“It’s your house.”

“Yours too. I would like nothing more than for you to refer to here as home.”

Following our kiss, Van left to do whatever he needed to do. After readying for bed, I slipped into a satin camisole and shorts and crawled into the big bed. There were a million questions and even more thoughts that should have kept me awake, but after my discussion with my parents, the only persistent feeling was exhaustion.

It took all my energy to slide under the layers of blankets. My eyes closed and the world faded away the moment I settled. At some point in the middle of the dark night, warmth radiated from another body. The room softly rattled with the sound of steady breathing.

He’d come back, not for sex but to cuddle.

Van’s presence gave me more than the ability to be close. It brought to life what his earlier words had said. Being near him like this filled me with a warm glow of peace, a sense of being home, and hope that together Van and I could make it through the unknowns, finding the place where we both belonged.

Curling my body next to his, I closed my eyes and drew from his strength.

Van had the ability to buy or sell or to save or destroy without concerns regarding the thoughts of others. While I didn’t want to be unfeeling, I sought to learn from him. Opening myself up and doing as I was expected left me emotionally hurt. I didn’t desire to hurt in return; I wanted to move forward. Van seemed capable of anything he set his mind to. Somewhere between falling asleep and waking, I wrapped my arm over his firm torso and vowed to learn more about this man as I learned more about me and what I was capable of becoming.

23. Julia

Julia