Evergreen13: But you did. And is it really so bad that you have to look at a gorgeous man? You refuse to go on any actual dates. At least having some eye candy will give you a thrill. I vote you wear something low-cut. I don’t know a single man who doesn’t like a boob shot.

I snorted and then sobered as I looked down at my chest. As if I could see through the cotton of my shirt to the mottled skin beneath. No man would like a shot of my breasts. I’d learned that the hard way.

The scars were a part of me. I wasn’t ashamed of them, but I didn’t like to dwell on them either. And I certainly didn’t flaunt them. I avoided mirrors when I was naked. Averted my gaze as I got dressed. The only time I couldn’t avoid the knowledge of them was when I showered. As I rubbed bodywash over my skin, there was no ignoring the raised and bumpy flesh. Sometimes, I mentally played a sonata as I went through my routine. Other times, I just showered as quickly as possible. But the feel of that skin, the knowledge of the pain it encompassed, always left me feeling raw and exposed.

I certainly didn’t want to expose them to anyone else’s eyes. There were generally only two reactions: pity or disgust. I had no use for either. So, I simply kept them to myself. The nice thing about living on an island in the Pacific Northwest was that even the summers were fairly temperate. I always wore long-sleeved t-shirts or rash guards when I swam. They covered my torso and the arm littered with scars.

My computer dinged, bringing me back to the present moment.

Evergreen13: Earth to Phoenix. Are you pulling out a hot top?

Phoenix26: I’m Googling how to block you on this app.

Evergreen13: You wouldn’t dare.

She was right. I wouldn’t. E had become a lifeline over the past few years. The small slice of normalcy I’d figured a way to hold onto. She didn’t need me the way I needed her. E worked in a vet’s office, had friends, went on dates. She wasn’t hiding away from the world the way I was. She was just hiding from her family.

Phoenix26: Thanks for always having my back. Even if, in your mind, it means encouraging me to expose myself to strangers.

Evergreen13: Like only a true friend would.