“The more people you put on this, the more likely Michael is to notice. He’s always had a sixth sense about that stuff. He knew when our parents had been in his room and went through his stuff. He knew when a guidance counselor was keeping an eye on him.”

She sighed. “And, honestly, Dante’s probably not going to give us anything that helps. Not unless he catches Michael in the act of something that would put him back in prison. One of two things is going to happen. Either something will trip Michael’s trigger, and he’ll explode. Or he’ll keep his dark side under wraps. Neither changes how I live my life right now. I have to hope that if I don’t engage with him, Michael will eventually get bored and give up. It makes me a horrible human being for even thinking it, but maybe he’ll find someone else to fixate on.”

“That does not make you a horrible human being. You’ve lived with his shadow for so long, it doesn’t make you a bad person to want a break away from it.” I pressed my lips to her forehead. “Proud of you.”

She gripped my shoulders tighter. “I have to figure out a way to keep stepping forward amidst all the unknowns. I’ve done everything I can to protect myself. But you’re right. None of those precautions are worth it if I stop living.”

“I’ll do everything I can to help you keep going. It might be into a giant unknown, but you won’t be alone.”

Shay pressed a palm to my chest. “I’ll be with you when you step into those scary places, too. I know it’s different. But I’ll support you every way I can.”

She already did. Sitting for me when she didn’t want her face publicized anywhere. Letting me into her world of music when she’d kept it locked away for so long. Never letting me give up on the thing that had been the most important in the world to me. Until Shay snuck in and stole that spot. She poked and prodded but never judged. She listened to the silence and understood me better than anyone ever had before.

I cupped her jaw as I stared at the golden flecks dancing in the sea of green of her eyes. “I love you. Your strength and empathy. Your determination and fire. The way you see things in me no one ever has. I know it’s soon, but hiding the truth doesn’t feel right either. I’ve been holding onto those words for weeks, and I need you to know they’re yours.”