The can of paint resting on my desk taunted me. The perfect shade of silver that I’d been using for the finishing touches on the painting of Shay moving through an arcing kick. I snatched it off the desk and threw it. It exploded in a cascade of shimmering color against the pale wall.

“Hey! What the hell is going on?” Shay asked, striding into the room, her face a mixture of disbelief and concern.

I couldn’t find the words I needed, I simply pulled her into my arms with a rough tug and buried my face in her hair. The familiar scent of lavender and something uniquely Shay calmed my most feral edges. But it wasn’t enough to numb the anger and pain.

She didn’t pull away, just drew me closer, rubbing her hands up and down my back. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“Caelyn found a body at the store. It’s not over.”

Shay’s body stiffened in my arms, but she didn’t stop trailing her hands over my back. “Who?”

“I don’t know.” I hadn’t even thought to ask. And what kind of bastard did that make me? I’d been so focused on how this affected me, but some family out there had lost someone.

I released Shay and stepped back, running a hand through my hair as I paced. “I don’t know what to do. I’m not putting out any more art. I can’t pull down every image from the internet, it would be impossible. I thought I’d moved to the edge of the world, but clearly it wasn’t enough. Do I have to move to fucking Antarctica?” I gave the box I’d just put together a swift kick, sending it into the wall.

Shay caught my arm and halted my frenetic pacing. “Stop it.” There was a bite to her words I’d never heard before. “Don’t you dare let this bastard into your head. None of this is your fault. I refuse to let you spiral down a road that isn’t yours to walk. The only person who should be drowning right now is the person who killed those people. You’re a scapegoat, and you’re just letting him herd you into the role. Fight back, damn it.”

I watched in awed fascination as fury lit Shay’s face. The way it moved through her features and seemed to light up the golden flecks in those hazel eyes. I love you. The words almost tumbled out of my mouth before I pulled them back. Too soon. Too many other things going on. A million and one reasons kept me from giving those three little words the voice they deserved.