As I stood, marveling at the display of naval might, anger welled in my gut. I had seen the cruel way the Royal Navy wielded its power. I touched the thin scar that ran through my eyebrow, thinking of Asa. Whatever I looked like on the surface, my heart was decidedly with the Americans.

“There you are, Little Salt.” Hackett came over and propped his arms on the rail beside me. “Out of your hiding spot, I see. What do you think?” He tipped his thick jaw at New York. “You scared?”

“Yes.” There was no point in lying. If the doctor spotted me for a fraud and I didn’t pass as Miss Coates, I didn’t know what I’d do. “Especially when I look at your face,” I couldn’t help but add. I knew he’d come over to remind me of his threat.

He snorted. “En’t anybody ever teach you to watch your mouth?”

“Yes. Then I tried to kill him.”

Hackett stared at me. “My, my, Little Salt. I think I believe you.”

“I don’t care what you believe.” I looked away and drew a deep breath. Just mentioning that night with Sewel made me queasy.

“I en’t blind, you know,” Hackett said after a few moments. “I know you fancied Lane. Don’t waste any worry over him, though. Soon as he’s able, he’ll escape.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “How could you know that?”

“I know things.”

“You know nothing, Tom Hackett. Not a thing.”

“All right, I’ll tell you. Firstly, ’cause you couldn’t separate that boy from his beliefs with a hammer and a pick. Secondly, ’cause only men who volunteer can be tried as deserters. Lane didn’t go willing. He fought. He took that beating ’cause he knew it was his only way of getting out clean when he sees a chance to run.”

I blinked my welling eyes. It sounded like Asa to think ahead. “Well, maybe he shouldn’t have done that. They almost killed him. Maybe they did kill him. You saw how badly he was—”

“Lane’ll be fine. That lad’s tougher than leather.”

Days of fear and regret caught up to me, lighting like a torch. “Stop talking like you liked him! You hated him!”

“I hate everybody, Salty. With Lane it was just easier.”

“You’ve got no right to make light of this! You’re a coward and a hypocrite. You claim to love England, but when a chance came for you to fight for it—truly fight for it—you just stood there and did nothing. It should have been you pressed into service, Hackett. Not Asa. If you were a man of honor, you’d have gone in his place.”