Back Reasons to be Happy Save as PDF
Contents ( 13)
  1. PRAISE FOR THE PLAYS OF NEIL LABUTE
  2. REASONS TO BE PRETTY
  3. IN A DARK DARK HOUSE
  4. WRECKS
  5. FAT PIG
  6. THE MERCY SEAT
  7. THE SHAPE OF THINGS
  8. BASH
  9. ALSO BY NEIL LABUTE
  10. Copyright
  11. Contents
  12. PREFACE
  13. REASONS TO BE HAPPY

KENT I don’t know what that is.

GREG It’s education based on a … constructivist model.

KENT … I don’t know what the fuck that is, either!/ You gonna be a teacher or not?

GREG Ha!/ Yeah … I’d be teaching. In an Arts program. English and Lit.

KENT … I suppose that’s a cool way of saying “literature,” right? “Lit.”

GREG Sorry! Yes.

KENT You are so fucking queer now that you got your degree! Another week or two and I’ll expect to hear you’re on Twitter …

GREG Ha! No chance, man … I’m gonna have to draw the line somewhere!

KENT Good! Otherwise, I might really have to punch you if that was the case …

GREG Ha! You could try.

What follows is one of those things that builds. Not angry, but guys playing rough. Escalating with each blow. KENT punches GREG on the arm. GREG does the same in return to KENT. This happens a dozen or so times, maybe more.

GREG Alright, alright, I give! Fuck! Owww!

KENT Not bad for a fucking … cocksucker … (Rubbing his arm.) Shit! You hit me on my funny bone on that last one! Ahhh!

Both of them flex their arms and sit back down. Silence.

KENT … Carly going with you? Wherever you’re going?

GREG It’s in New York … if I go.

KENT New York! Fuck! Why would you ever go there?

GREG I dunno … it could be cool./ Shut up!

KENT Dude, people try to blow it up for a reason!/ I’m serious! AIDS started in that city. All kinds of shit … I don’t want my kid growing up there!

GREG It’s not in New York City. It’s outside.

KENT Still.

GREG Yeah, well, that’s where I just might be.

KENT Oh./ I hear “I” so what does that mean? You going with somebody or … just …?

GREG …/ Not sure.

KENT O-K. (Beat.) Privileged info or you just don’t have an answer?

GREG The latter.

KENT What?

GREG I dunno yet.

KENT Yeah, well … tell Carly I’d get back with her if she ends up staying here.

GREG Right.

KENT I’m not kidding, man … in a heartbeat. Her and my kid. Absolutely.

GREG Ummmm … I don’t know if we should get into that right now …

KENT Yeah, alright. Fine. I’d probably just fuck it up again anyways … (To the kids on the field.) That’s right, guys! Keep it up!

KENT turns his head away from GREG. GREG carefully watches his friend’s behavior.

GREG You ok?

KENT I’m fine.

GREG Yeah?/ Honestly?

KENT Yep./ Uh-huh.

GREG Positive?

KENT I’m good … I’m …/ …

GREG What?/ What, Kent?

KENT doesn’t finish this thought—instead he stands up to watch another play happen. He sits back down and suddenly he starts to cry. Just like that. Tears.

GREG puts an arm around him but KENT never looks over at him again.

GREG You sure you’re alright?

KENT I dunno, man. I really don’t know.