Brother Odd nodded, hanging his head in shame. I cannot seem to push them from my mind. It is like the man I was is waiting beneath the surface of me, waiting to fight his way back. How can I put that man away for good?

I think you are asking the wrong question, the abbot said. He gestured for Brother Odd to follow as he walked down from the walls, heading back to the body of the monastery.

Then what question should I be asking? Brother Odd asked.

The old monk shook his head. We do not give answers here; we are not fanatics of one of the gods. We are only here to seek them.

I have sought answers, Brother Odd insisted as he followed. He hunched over so that he would not tower over the old man. I have meditated, and prayed, and thought for so long. None of it has freed me from the evil of who I was.

And none of it will, Abbot Verle said. As I said, it is the wrong thing to seek. The past has happened, Brother; you cannot be rid of it, or of who you are.

Then what is the point of being here? Brother Odd snapped, and immediately felt shame coursing through him.

It is not about who you were, Brother, the abbot said. Its about who you are, and who you could be. Perhaps you should meditate on that. Now, I believe you are needed in the gardens.

Brother Odd knew that the abbot was right, but even so, it wasnt the answer he had been hoping for.

Yes, Father Abbot.

Oh, and Brother Odd? Remember that we are a peaceful order. Practicing old things is no way to become something new.

That caught Brother Odd by surprise. How had the old man known? Just the thought of it added to his shame, but also to his resolve. He would try. He would seek to be the best monk that he could be, try to be the perfect brother, embrace their ways of peace.

Even so, he could feel the violence of his old life bubbling within him, and it scared him.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Devin watched as Rodry checked the saddle on his horse, tying in place the last of his equipment for the journey. He couldnt believe that he was being included in a journey like this; couldnt believe that he was out of the dungeon.

You need to cinch your saddle tighter, Sir Twell said, showing Devin how it should be done. Devin nodded, even though hed only rarely had a chance to ride a horse before. He was too busy trying to decide what he would do, now that both the king and Prince Rodry wanted him to make the sword for them. He didnt know what he was going to do. For now, maybe it was better to focus on the act of simply getting the metal.