She reached for him. He pushed her away.

“That’s it, then?” she said.

“That has always been it. What does it matter?” He sighed heavily and rubbed at his shaggy head. “If we fucked now, what would it be like in the morning? Would you be done? And if not tomorrow, what about the next day? The next year? A decade from now? I don’t fornicate with women for fun, Nyx. It means far more than that to me. Everything you touch turns to ash. And when things are bad, I always know who you will look out for. You will sacrifice every person in this world for whatever foolish goal you have. Every person here. Even Eshe. Even me.”

“Don’t bring up Eshe.”

“Why, because it’s true? He was the closest thing you had to a child, and you killed him over this.”

“Fuck you, Rhys. I never sacrificed you for anything.”

“No,” he said. “Just my family. That’s what you don’t understand, Nyx. They are me.” He seemed to be searching for more words.

Nyx let him chew on them. She was tired of talking. She wanted to walk off into the jungle and not look back. She had nothing to go back to.

“When I’m with you, Nyx, I don’t have to try and be a better man,” Rhys said. “I can uphold the barest level of decency and look like the son of the prophet by contrast.”

“So stick around.”

“You don’t understand. I don’t… have to be strong when I’m with you. I don’t have to be good. But Nyx, I have to be a better man. That’s what life is. It’s striving to be peaceful, worthy before God. And when I’m with you, my relationship with God is much different. Do you understand?”

Nyx shook her head.