Chapter 15

Oxan lights are visible even though the sun has not set. Tirad is standing by the boat fences staring ahead. He has a livid bruise under his eye and there are cuts and contusion marks all over his bony cheeks, above his beard line. Dalia gets up from her usual place and stands beside him. She looks amazed by the dazzling scene of the Island lights that prevent it from sinking into darkness. Tirad smells Dalia’s skin, a salty cool scent like the sea, the smell of fluidity and formlessness. He wants to say something to Dalia especially now that Mart and Yuma are in their cabin resting or reviewing their mission. They hadn’t said anything about the mission to Tirad and his attempt to speak to Mart had ended up in a fight. He feels unable to start a conversation. He has always been like this, never knowing what to say to others. He feels lonely, more than ever. The scarlet light of the dusk and the island that seems like a piece of starry heaven appeals to his eyes but his heart is heavy. He wishes he could talk to Lealy, but she has shut the door to everyone since the fight. She had refused to let Dalia and her mother stay in her cabin and they had spent the nights on the deck without any complaints. But more than anyone else, he desires to talk to Dalia, yet he seems unable to move his lips. He hasn’t learned much about this girl and her mother who speak to each other in a strange tongue and Dalia hasn’t said a word, she just stares at him at all times with her sharp, bright eyes. Tirad swallows his saliva and tries to wet his dry lips with his tongue, but he still can’t find a word to throw at Dalia. He doesn’t want to miss this chance and let her go back to her routine, sitting by her mother and soaking herself from the buckle of water next to her hand. He wishes this moment would last forever, without Mart, Lealy, Hurmaz and the Saviour Ship on the vast, endless waves that carries them to a heavy and busy island. He desires to smell the cool scent of the sea from Dalia’s body forever…and he knows that can never be. He needs a word just to keep the moment go on for a little longer.

“This is the first time I’m going to Oxan… Have you been there before?” Dalia breaks the silence. Tirad turns his head and looks at her. Dalia still looks forward and even though she looks calm, her words suggest otherwise. Her head skin reflects the crimson light of the dusk. Tirad tries to reply her with a relaxed voice to avoid resonating her anxiousness. But his voice is hoarse, probably because he hasn’t spoken for two days. He coughs to soften it a little.

“Don’t worry! Oxan is not like the Saviour Island. There are too many people there and no one will bother you… I will get you a boat to your ship next thing tomorrow morning,” he says. But his words seem to have disappointed her and make her restless. She turns and wants to go back to her usual sitting place. Tirad takes her wrist and stops her. He doesn’t want her to go. He wants to talk and end this isolation and silence, especially now that Lealy is avoiding him and he has a difficult journey ahead with Mart and Yuma. He wants to know why his words made her anxious, although he knows it’s not the best way this conversation could go. He goes on and asks her directly why she became upset? Dalia slips her hand smoothly out of Tirad’s fingers and takes her previous position, staring at the blood-coloured sky and the twinkling of the island lights.