That looked all quite simple, but the canoes were as light as three-ply and very hard to balance at all; yet the harmony and instinctive understanding between the Thai and his child, the grace of the cast which showed the ripple of perfectly healthy muscles, the slipping into the water if necessary, and the perfect poise and balance in the boat, made for me one of the most satisfying scenes in Thailand.

In the months of January and February, ’44, there was a steady descent of troops from above us going down by train to Chungkai and it was obvious that soon all the camps would be cleared right out. There were mixed feelings at the prospect of leaving. We knew that Chungkai couldn’t be so good now, for it had a sick section of about 6,000 men, and the total inhabitants were about 8,000. On the other hand, though Takanun had become so pleasant for a while, the malaria really was bad, and on the whole we thought it wouldn’t much matter if we stayed up or went below. But towards the end of February we found ourselves the most northern camp in Thailand, and due to go down any day.

So we had to have a Farewell Show and Carl Bucks was writing a thing called ‘Animal Crackers’ for the occasion, and it was put on about a week before we left. It was one of the best shows ever put on in our captivity, and the story of a young man wanting to marry the daughter of his rich employer, aided and abetted by a Crazy Gang of six friends, was really only an excuse to go round the world in typical revue style, and scenes were laid in Hawaii, Maddison Square Gardens, Russia, Isles of Mbongo-Mbongo, and Thailand. It contained an all-in wrestling match between two of the camp strong men and the Crazy Gang; it had a fantastic ‘blood pressure machine’ worked by Woolley and an assistant, that nearly killed the peppery old Colonel, Stan Fane. The camp R.S.M. did a cannibal dance, and so on – utterly crazy. The Most lasting thing in the show was the song sung by the Crazy Gang, being a parody of These Foolish Things, and scraping past the lax and lazy Nip censor.

‘The high embankment where the Railway trace is, The blasted cuttings through the rocky places, Mosquitoes whirring wings, these crazy things mean

Thailand to you.

The rains of May that made the camp a plaster,

The senseless shouting: “Speedo! Speedo! Faster!!”

Those Buggairero-ings, these crazy things mean Thailand to you.

We worked and slaved on rice and tea,

When you did that to us we ached and prayed that we might be free.

The work in boiling sun for half a nickel –

But Rolex watches fetch a hundred Tikal,

And as for signet rings! These crazy things mean Thailand to you.

The prophylactic dose of tasty quinine,

The aromatic whiff of nearby latrine,