“How do you feel, knowing that it was supposed to be me that Abbot raised?” I blurted out. “That if my mom had done what she was supposed to do, you might never have met Layla?”

“That’s...” Zayne shifted as if he were trying to get comfortable. “That’s a hard question to answer. I don’t know what to think, or if thinking about it even matters, because that’s not what happened. The past is the past, and what should’ve been doesn’t change that, but if you’re asking if I regret these series of mistakes that led to this moment?”

My breath hitched. “I’m not asking that. Of course you don’t regret it. I wouldn’t—”

“I don’t,” he cut in. “And I do.”

I stilled.

“If what was supposed to have happened had, we would’ve had years of training and preparing together. We wouldn’t be playing catch-up, and maybe I wouldn’t—” He stopped and then drew in an audible breath. “We would be more ready than we are now, and everything that happened with Misha wouldn’t have.”

I flinched, heart dropping a little.

“But I can’t regret that my father took Layla in,” he continued. “Even with how all of that turned out, I can’t regret it. I don’t.”

I let that sink in. “I understand.” And I did. I got it, and I was glad he didn’t seem to be dwelling on it.

Zayne didn’t respond, and I decided I’d asked enough random questions for at least the next couple of hours.

I should probably get up, but I was comfortable and I... I missed this.

I missed having someone to talk to.

I thought about the calls from Jada. I really needed to call her.

“You miss your stars.” Zayne spoke into the darkness. “The ones back home, on the ceiling. Took me a bit to realize what you were talking about, but I remember.”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Those stars.”

“Got a question for you. A quick one.”

I turned my head toward him. “What?”

“If you were coming out here to see if I was still awake, why did you have your dagger with you?”

Dammit.

“You know...” I started.

“No, I don’t.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know, I don’t know why I grabbed it. Habit, I guess.”

“Strange habit.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“After a night like this, grabbing a dagger wasn’t a bad idea,” he tacked on, and I wasn’t entirely convinced that meant he believed me. He chuckled under his breath.

“What?” I asked.