Chapters (51)
Layla closed her eyes for a long moment and then she asked, “Have you seen him since you woke up?”
“No.”
“Does that mean he’s crossed over?” she asked.
“It could mean that,” I answered. “But Zayne said even death wouldn’t stop him. He wouldn’t have crossed over.”
You know that’s not always true, whispered a stupid voice of reason.
People died unexpectedly all the time—people who still had plans and loved ones. While alive, people fully believed they’d come back if they could, but most of the time people changed when they entered the light. Their desires and needs remained, but they crossed into the great beyond, and whatever that was reshaped them.
But Zayne hadn’t come back, even as a spirit, and I fully believed that if he had crossed over, he would have, even if it was to make sure I was okay.
“But what if he has crossed over,” Layla said quietly. “What if he’s found peace? Happiness?”
My gaze sharpened on her as my chest hollowed.
“What if he’s really okay? And he’s waiting for you when it’s your time.” Tears filled her eyes. “Is it okay to take him from that?”
No.
Yes.
A knot lodged in the back of my throat. What if he was at—No. I couldn’t let myself think that. I wanted him back too much. I couldn’t do this without him. I just couldn’t.
“He would want to come back to me,” I said. “I don’t think he’s crossed over.” The knot expanded, pushing out painful words. “I never got to tell him I love him. I should’ve told him that, but I didn’t and his last words to me were that it was okay—” My voice cracked as I clamped my mouth shut. It took several seconds before I could speak again. “I will get him back.”
“Trin,” Peanut whispered, and I looked over at him. “Think about what you’re saying. About what you’re planning to do.”
“I have thought about this,” I told him and then looked to Roth. “It’s all I have thought about. I know what it means.”
It wouldn’t be easy.
It would be damn near impossible, and I had no idea if Zayne would return to me as a Warden or as my Protector, but that would be a bridge we’d cross together.
Because I would succeed. Gabriel had been wrong. Rage and ruin had not corrupted me. They powered me. I would do anything, give up anything, to make Zayne’s return happen. Anything. Because we’d promised each other forever, and we would have that, one way or another.
Slowly, Roth lifted his gaze to mine and then, after an eternity, he nodded. “I will tell you how to find him.”
And he did.