‘Butler is my name too,’ Albie replied bravely. ‘And nothing is going on with me and Maureen. She’s just a mate who I have a drink with. I swear to you, boy, she’s only a friend. I miss female company. Not as though your mother ever wants to come out with me any more, is it?’

Vinny put his hand around his father’s throat and gripped it tightly. ‘Friend or lover, you never see Maureen again. ’Cause if you do, you’ll regret it big time. My mum is my world; you’ve never been a dad to me. In fact, I hate you, you skinny-gutted tosser. You do as I say.’

Albie looked into his son’s evil unblinking eyes. They were bright green just like his, but unlike his own, held no warmth. Always the coward, Albie took the easy path. ‘I get the message. I’ll stay away from Maureen, lad.’

Vinny kneed his dad as hard as he could in the nuts, leaving him crouched on the pavement in obvious distress. ‘I’m glad we understand one another, Daddy Dearest. Enjoy the rest of your day.’

In agony, clutching his privates, Albie looked up as his son strutted off. This was all Queenie’s fault. Vinny was a monster and she’d made him that way.

On the train going home, Queenie and Viv were in such hysterics, all the other commuters were looking at them and some were laughing too.

‘Let’s have one in the pub, Queen, before we go back to yours,’ Viv suggested as they got off the train at Whitechapel.

Queenie wasn’t one to venture into the pub usually, but today had been so funny, she felt full of beans. ‘Those prawns we hid will start stinking by tonight, Viv, in this hot weather,’ she chuckled. ‘As for Mother’s sherry trifle, I hope it goes down well. We’ll have one in the pub and then get home ’cause of the boys. I wonder what surprises we have in store?’

Viv chuckled. ‘Whatever it is, it won’t be as much of a surprise as when I smashed Pearl’s favourite vase to smithereens. The look on her face was fucking priceless.’

‘You all right, ladies? Ready for your surprises?’ Vinny grinned.

‘You ain’t sozzled, are ya?’ asked Roy. His mum and aunt were giggling away like two silly teenagers.

‘We had a couple in the Grave Maurice, but only to celebrate,’ Queenie chuckled. ‘You should have seen Pearl’s face when I told her to shove her shitty job up her arsehole, just after Viv purposely smashed her favourite vase that was apparently worth thousands. The house ain’t even clean, boys. Viv and I only cleaned a couple of rooms. We created havoc. It was Viv’s idea to shove the prawns down the back of her new sofa and the guest’s beds. They’ll be chucking up by tomorrow, let me tell you.’

Wetting herself with laughter, Viv punched Queenie playfully on the arm. ‘Oh and it was your mother’s idea to spit in the sherry trifle.’