I waited for him to tell me that he didn’t want a weak, faithless coward like me living with him, but he kept silent.

“You don’t want me now, do you?” I asked, struggling to keep calm.

He sighed. “I want you. I’ll always want you. I want you here because you want to be, not because you want to prove something…to me or to yourself. I don’t want you to come here because you don’t trust yourself there.”

I dropped the phone, covering my face with my hands. Why would he want me after what I had done? It was pathetic at best, and at worst it was dangerously close to being unfaithful.

I sat on my bed and rested my head on the pillow, trying to cry quietly. I didn’t want Jared to hear and feel worse than he already did. Ten minutes later I heard a knock at the door. When I didn’t answer, it slowly opened. Jared stood at the door, looking as devastated as I felt.

“I love you,” he said.

I sat up and wiped my face, trying to look him in the eyes. He walked over to me and pulled me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me.

“I want you to come home with me,” he said against my hair.

I nodded. It was the only thing I was capable of.

We kept pace with one another in silence down the hall. Jared didn’t reach for my hand; he simply walked beside me, opening the various doors for me as we walked to the Escalade. When he pulled away from the curb I struggled to keep the tears at bay.

Jared reached over and gently placed his hand on mine. “Don’t cry,” he whispered.

I shut my eyes, praying he wouldn’t offer further comfort.

He drove to the loft and parked. Neither of us moved after he switched off the ignition.

“I can have Claire grab some of your things if you decide to stay,” he said, looking ahead.

“Do you want me to stay?” I looked down at our hands, afraid of his answer.

Jared’s eyes darted over to me. “Do you even have to ask?”

“You shouldn’t want me. I’m a horrible person. You must be so angry.”

“I’m not angry. You feel bad enough for the both of us,” he paused for a moment, and then continued. “This isn’t your fault. It’s not even his fault…I did this. You’re supposed to be with him,” he said, his voice breaking at the end.

“Don’t I have a say in who I want? Don’t I have a choice? I don’t feel that I do. Even you act as if I don’t. No matter what I do, I lose.”

“You don’t know that, Nina. I could just be in the way.”

I shook my head, refusing to even consider that.