I couldn’t reply. She acted as if she’d burned the pot roast, not that a group of men had broken into her home and assaulted her family to kidnap one of her guests.

“I need to take Nina home. Claire and Bex can clean up. Call me if there is a problem,” Jared said.

Lillian nodded and kissed her son.

“I am so sorry,” I choked, the guilt crushing me.

Jared’s mother cupped my cheek in her palm and stared at me with deep sympathy. “This is not your fault, Nina. It’s no one’s fault. It is what it is.” She shrugged with a small smile and I tried to return her expression, but I was afraid if I let the numbness escape me for even a moment, I would break down in front of everyone.

Once in the SUV, I asked Jared to take me to Andrews.

“Why?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“I just want to go home,” I said, looking out the window.

Jared traced my fingers with his. “I’d feel better if you stayed with me tonight.”

“I think I…I just want to sleep in my bed,” I said, stumbling over my words. I had made the decision before I got in the car.

“If that’s what you want.” He sighed in resignation, and then turned down a road that led to Brown.

Jared slowly pulled beside the curb and switched off the ignition. Without a word, I pulled on the handle to let myself out.

“Nina?” Jared called as he caught up with me. “I don’t think this is a good idea, you’re not in any condition to be alone.”

“Beth is there,” I said as I continued walking.

He stopped me just as I reached for the door. “You don’t want to be around me tonight, do you?”

I didn’t want to say it. I begged myself not to, but I had to say the words. The tears threatened to fall but I forced them back. “I can’t do this, Jared.”

He shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You can’t do what?”

“We have to go back to the way things used to be,” I said, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

I could see the clouds forming in his eyes. “What are you talking about?” he asked warily.

“I….” My lips pressed together, afraid to speak words that would be physically painful to say, “I don’t think we should be together. I don’t see how it can work.”

Jared was instantly angry. “Don’t do this. You think what happened at Lillian’s tonight is your fault.” He gripped my shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Nina.”

“They came to your mother’s house, Jared. For me. If I wasn’t there they wouldn’t have come. Quit saying it’s not my fault. It is.”