This outfit would severely limit Rocky’s ability to move freely, but hey, fashion isn’t about comfort or convenience.

“You look great!” I say.

“Thank! This is special clothing for celebration.”

I hold up a liter of vodka. “This is special liquid for celebration.”

“Humans… eat to celebrate?”

“Yeah. I know Eridians eat in private. I know you think it’s gross to see. But this is how humans celebrate.”

“Is okay. Eat! We celebrate!”

I float over to the two experiments mounted to the lab table. Inside one is an analog of the atmosphere of Venus. Inside the other is the atmosphere of Threeworld. In both cases, I made them as precise as I could. I used the best reference data I have, which is considerable thanks to my collection of every human reference book ever and Rocky’s knowledge about his own system.

In both cases, Taumoeba have not only survived but thrived. They breed as fast as ever, and even the smallest amount of Astrophage injected into either experiment gets eaten immediately.

I hold the bag of vodka up. “To Taumoeba-82.5! Savior of two worlds!”

“You will give that liquid to the Taumoeba, question?”

I unclip the fastener on the straw. “No, it’s just a thing humans say. I am honoring Taumoeba-82.5.” I take a sip. It’s like fire in my mouth. Ilyukhina apparently liked her vodka strong and rough.

“Yes. Much honoring!” he says. “Human and Eridian work together, save everyone!”

“Ah!” I say. “That reminds me: I need a life-support system for Taumoeba—something that feeds them just enough Astrophage to keep the colony alive. It has to be completely automatic, has to work on its own for several years, and it has to weigh less than a kilogram. I need four of them.”

“Why so small, question?”

“I’m going to put one on each beetle. Just in case something happens to the Hail Mary on the way home.”

“Good plan! You are smart! I can make these for you. Also, today I finish fuel-transfer device. Can give you Astrophage now. Then we both go home!”

“Yeah.” My smile fades.

“This is happy! Your face opening is in sad mode. Why, question?”

“Going to be a long trip and I’ll be all alone.” I haven’t decided if I want to risk a coma on the way home. I may have to for my own sanity. Total solitude and nothing to eat but chalky, nasty coma slurry might just be too much. For the first part of the trip, at least, I definitely plan to stay awake.

“You will miss me, question? I will miss you. You are friend.”

“Yeah. I’m going to miss you.” I take another swig of vodka. “You’re my friend. Heck, you’re my best friend. And pretty soon we’re going to say goodbye forever.”

He tapped two gloved claws together. They made a muffled sound instead of the usual click that comes along with the dismissive gesture. “Not forever. We save planets. Then we have Astrophage technology. Visit each other.”