‘I don’t know what you’re trying to do, whether you’re trying to push me away because of some stupid guilt you’ve burdened yourself with, but you can’t lie to me.’ Lottie took a step forward, pushing herself out of the claustrophobic cave-in that made her feel like she couldn’t breathe. ‘We both know there’s more to us than this arrangement. We were meant to find each other.’ As the words left her mouth, it sent a tingle through her, the memory of a kiss doused in sugar, the sweetest moment she’d ever tasted, but it was ripped away, the sugar turning bitter on her tongue when Ellie looked down at her.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she said, her voice like a cane on wet skin, and she stared at Lottie through hooded eyes, her wet lashes casting long lines down her face like tears. ‘We’re completely different people, from completely different worlds.’

It hit Lottie in slow motion, a gasping pain that took her head a while to keep up with what her body was feeling. Then she pinned it down; it was the distinct feeling of betrayal and abandonment.

‘My whole life …’ she whispered, but the sound wasn’t weak; it was simmering. ‘My whole life has been a mess of never knowing where I belonged, searching for it, working endlessly to get to it.’ Taking another step forward, Lottie felt heat from Ellie’s body, proof there was still some warmth inside her. ‘And by some miracle,’ she continued, ‘I got into Rosewood, and I found you, and we found each other, and for the first time I knew what it was like to have a home.’ Her voice was shaking now, their bodies so close she could feel Ellie shivering, and she looked her dead in the eye, past this cruel mask she’d donned and into her very core. ‘That has to mean something.’

There was a shudder in the air, a coffee-breathed sigh escaping from Ellie’s mouth, an animal flicker in her eye that lingered over the place where Lottie’s heartbeat pulsed visibly under damp skin, her lips moistening as if she was going to kiss or bite her. It was only a second, but it made Lottie’s body ache, and she leaned in, repeating into her princess’s chest softly like a prayer, ‘It has to mean something.’

Ellie’s fingers found their way into Lottie’s curls, toying with the ends that dripped, the rainwater building until it ran down her wrists, the two of them intertwining. ‘Lottie.’ She breathed her name and it was as if no one had ever truly spoken it before, the sound beautiful and filled with meaning, until she broke the spell. ‘The only reason we’re even friends is because you’re my Portman.’