This is starting to be more, something that I’m not capable of having, especially when I’m getting married in less than five months.

“Has Rachel always been like this with you?” I glance over at her.

She sighs and keeps looking out the window. “I don’t talk about her, especially with you.” She rubs her forehead.

I nod. “Well, we’re beyond that, but I’m not going to force you.” My hands tighten on the steering wheel.

She shrugs. “Some women should not have children, and she’s one of them. Maria basically raised me.” Her voice is raspy with emotion. She’s been traumatized by both her parents, tossed around, neither of them really wanting her, though Rachel’s ex at least tried, and she had Maria. Guess the mystery as to why Rachel insisted on keeping Maria when she moved in is solved.

We stay silent the rest of the ride while I try to wrestle with my conscience. I need to pull back. No matter how much I want her, we can’t ever be. She’s young, beautiful, and deserves the world. I can’t give myself to her. Not really. I’m not built for it. My job, career, are my great loves, but Raven is still young enough to find someone who will always put her first. Someone who will drop everything just to have her smile. Yeah, my Lolita deserves to have it all. She can make a difference.

I pull into my driveway, looking for Rachel’s car. It’s not there, but she might have put it in the garage.

Raven barely waits for me to stop and swings the door open, sprinting upstairs past a concerned-looking Maria who stands holding the front door open.

“What the fuck?” Sighing, I grab my briefcase, then glance at my phone. Nothing new, just work stuff.

It’s almost four. Maybe I’ll order a pizza if Rachel is gone. Crack open a bottle of red, and Raven and I can watch a movie, maybe take a swim.

Silence greets me as I walk in. “Rachel?”

“She’s gone out.” Maria stands in the kitchen doorway.

“When is she coming back?” I say tightly, not in the mood for Maria’s disapproving stare. I’m trying to have patience since she basically raised Raven, but I won’t put up with her interfering.

“She didn’t say, just that she was going out.”

“Thank you. You can go home.” I toss my briefcase on one of the tables and push on Rachel’s number. Again, it goes straight to voicemail.

“I was thinking I’d take Ms. Raven with me tonight.” She raises her chin, her arms crossed.

That stops me. I look up from my phone. “Excuse me?”

“Yes, I wanted to make her homemade tacos. It’s one of her favorite meals.”