“Fuck.” I sit up and toss the covers off, then rest my elbows on my knees, ignoring Rachel’s groans at being disturbed. My head is pounding and my mouth feels like I drank sewer water.

I grab the bottle of whiskey from my nightstand and take a swig. Definitely a hair-of-the-dog type of morning.

“Emily?” I call out. She must have left, not that I blame her. Last night couldn’t have been more fucked up.

Standing, I slowly make my way to the bathroom to take a piss. Poor Emily. I need to call her and tell her none of what went down was her fault.

No matter how much she tried, I never got hard. I’d like to blame it on the booze, but it wasn’t.

I know it wasn’t.

I flush the toilet and stumble over to the shower, needing a cold one to wake me up enough to figure out my next plan.

What the fuck has happened to me?

Closing my eyes, I place my hands against the tiled wall, my head leaning down as I let the icy sting of the water distract me. But all I see is her, my Lolita, with her big blue eyes and puffy red lips. She hates me.

Christ, I hate me. Talk about fucking self-sabotaging, last night was ugly, dirty, and for the first time since I was probably ten, I feel… regret? Shame?

Maybe both, because I wanted to hurt her. She made me feel, laugh, and question my life, and for that I wanted to punish her. Add in a half bottle of whiskey, and yeah, that helps for making good choices.

I raise my head as the water hits my face. It’s over. She will hate me, but at least maybe this madness can stop.

I don’t want her love. I want things back like they were, where I was happily dipping my dick in wet, warm pussy and not caring. I want to get up and be excited to take a big case, not worrying about how I can sneak into Raven’s room and fuck her before work.

My cock jumps to life at the thought of that. Turning, I grab the soap. I may have a real problem.

I mean, girl-on-girl action and I didn’t even get hard? I sat and watched them get each other off, and my cock didn’t even twitch with interest. But thinking about Raven? I’m hard as fuck.

I do a final rinse off and step out. I need to call Sam and have him come over and give me a B12 shot, at least, because my head is pounding, and my mood is turning darker the more awake I get.