She grinned at him, feeling alive and hopeful for the first time in many months. ‘Never you mind, Will Benson, just never you mind.’

‘Mr Marshall – please, I want to come to France with you.’ Once more – as if time had taken a tilt – Esther was standing facing the squire across his huge desk.

‘Eh? What?’ The squire’s mouth all but dropped open. ‘Come to France? My dear Mrs Hilton . . .’

He was patronizing her. Her green eyes flashed and her jaw tightened. She saw that he had noticed, for his protestations died. He ran his hand through his thin, greying hair. He sighed deeply and said, more kindly, ‘I can well understand your desire to go out there. Indeed, it must match my own.’ He glanced at her shrewdly. ‘More so, if you still hold on to the belief that perhaps your husband may be alive.’

Esther opened her mouth and then shut it firmly against what she had been about to say. She made herself swallow hard before she said, ‘Exactly!’

Silently she begged forgiveness for the lie.

The squire spread his hands in a helpless gesture. ‘My dear, I really don’t think it’s a place for ladies . . .’

‘But the war is over now. Why don’t they come home? Why have we heard nothing?’ Deliberately, she allowed him to think she was referring all the time to Matthew, when in her heart she was silently crying the name, ‘Jonathan, Jonathan! JONATHAN!’

With quiet determination, she said, ‘Squire, please help me. I have to go.’

He sighed and looked at her steadily. Esther was sure he could no longer find it in his heart to argue with her. He was determined to go, but knew he would discover only a grave. She could read his thoughts, transparent upon his face. How can I refuse her, when perhaps she seeks the living?

All he did not know was the true identity of the person she sought.

Thirty-four

‘GO where?’ Ma Harris’s tone was scandalized. Esther might as well have said she intended to fly to the moon. ‘But – but what about yar bairn? And the farm?’

Esther smiled her most winning smile, but before she could utter a word, Ma nodded. ‘Oh, I get it. The Harrises’ll no doubt help out. Tek care of young Kate and all the livestock! Is that it?’

‘Well – ’ Esther eyed the older woman with a coy look, the smile still twitching at her mouth – ‘I was hoping . . .’

Ma’s laugh cackled. ‘Eeh, but you’re a bold one, lass. Is that why you came to get round me again?’

‘No, it isn’t, Ma. You know me better than that.’

‘Aye, I suppose I do at that. We’ll help ya.’ Then her eyes narrowed as she added perceptively, ‘What exactly are ya going for?’

Ma Harris was not as easily deceived as the squire.