‘At ease, lads,’ says Inspector Barker, ‘just here to get my music case.’ He goes to his locker in the corner of the mess room, where he opens the metal door and takes out a black bag with a foldover top secured with Velcro. His beautiful new uke, the Uluru, is also in the locker but he knows as soon as he looks at it that he can’t bring himself to take it to the pub today. He closes the locker door, leaving it there. He is keeping it at work for the time being as he hasn’t quite owned up to the missus. They’ve been going through a bit of a bad patch, in fact, arguing quite a lot, mostly about money. The dishwasher broke down two days after he bought the new ukulele and they are still debating whether it’s fixable or whether it’s too old and they should cut their losses and get a new one from John Lewis. He thinks it’s hardly worth it now it’s just the two of them and she says, that’s alright for him to say, it isn’t him that does the washing up. So he’s keeping the Uluru in his locker at work for the foreseeable. A good marriage is all about judicial timing when it comes to the announcement of unwelcome information, after all.

‘You going over for the 13.46?’ The Posh have got a home game with Southend United this afternoon and with roadworks on the M11 they’re expecting more fans than usual coming up on the trains.

‘Sir,’ Lockhart says.

‘How many are Milton Keynes sending over?’ Inspector Barker asks. He’s off duty, it isn’t his problem, but a man like Inspector Barker is never off duty, not really. There aren’t enough of them in Peterborough BTP for a full football train so there’s always a bit of redistribution of resources come match day, depending on who the visitors are. Causes a bit of tension amongst the higher-ups, it does.

‘Six, sir, and Dawson and Bowles are over there already. We’re just about to join them,’ Lockhart replies. Dawson is the sergeant on duty that afternoon – she’s known for having a temper when crossed and can bark at a bending drunk with such ferocity he snaps upright quickly enough to do his back in. Bowles is a tall thin PC who looks like he should be an architect or a potter or one of those arty jobs but in fact is a black belt in something and can wrestle men twice his weight to the floor in a couple of seconds. They’re both pretty useful when it comes to football fans.

‘Any reports from down the line?’ He is asking if there’s any shared intelligence on how the fans are behaving on the journey.

‘Not as far as we know, sir.’

‘Right-o.’