“Of course I’m not sorry I married you,” she replied, her voice wobbling.

“You keep bringing it up,” I replied. “If only I hadn’t ruined your plans.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I meant—” She paused. “I meant that—”

She couldn’t find the words, and I couldn’t let her off the hook. I needed to know.

“I’m not sorry I married you,” she said again. “But everything that happened, it’s because I deviated from my plans.” She didn’t sound as sure of it anymore.

“You lost the baby because Sean is a fucking douche,” I replied. “It didn’t have anything to do with your plans.”

“Yes, it did.”

“Jesus,” I murmured. “That’s not how it works, Sarai.”

I put the truck in drive and whipped around, pulling back onto the road so I could get back on the freeway.

“Your plans were still set,” I said, changing lanes. I didn’t even bother looking at her. “You were still planning on graduating in June. That hadn’t changed. Our marriage had changed where you lived, but you were still on track. The baby wasn’t even going to be born until after you were done with school. Nothing fucking changed until we lost her.”

“You don’t understand,” she said again.

I tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t. Her inability to see reason made my chest tight, and I lifted my hand to rub at it.

“Alex?” Sarai said cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” I snapped my mouth shut and swallowed. Shit, what the hell was happening? I inhaled again, this time inflating my lungs.

“Are you okay?” she asked, leaning toward me.

Her words triggered a memory, and my hands began to shake.

“Are you okay?” Bram asked, pushing past me into the room where my first mom lay on the floor, her round belly pointing toward the ceiling.

I couldn’t stop the sound that came out of my throat.

“Alex, you’re scaring me,” Sarai said. “Pull over.”

I nodded and took the next exit. By the time we were parked, I’d started sweating.

“I need a minute,” I blurted, climbing out of the truck.

I lifted my hands and laced my fingers behind my head as I took deep breaths of cool air. Jesus. Was I having some sort of panic attack? I’d never had a panic attack in my life.

“What’s going on?” Sarai asked, rounding the truck.

I huffed, willing the tears at the back of my eyes to disappear. “Remember when I told you that my mom died from a broken heart?” I asked. When she nodded I continued. “What I didn’t tell you is that she lost a baby.”

“What?” Sarai gasped, wrapping her arms around herself.