I was seriously debating sleeping on the floor when she huffed out a breath.

“This is ridiculous,” she murmured, flopping onto her back and accidentally elbowing me in the side. “Sorry.”

“Why do they even make beds this size?” I grumbled, wiggling my feet. I was so far up on the bed that my hair brushed the headboard, but my heels still hung off the end. “Who could be comfortable like this?”

“I don’t think it’s meant for two people,” she said seriously.

“I don’t think it’s meant for adults,” I replied.

“Short ones, maybe,” she muttered.

We were quiet for a while, neither of us comfortable enough to actually fall asleep.

“Still happy that we’re moving to Oregon?” I asked, then cursed silently. “I mean, okay with it?”

“I’m happy,” she said unconvincingly. “I like your family.”

I lay there for a moment, then asked the question that had been rolling around in my head for days. “Do you wish that you’d gone back to New York with your aunt and uncle?”

Her answer didn’t come right away, and my heart raced while silence filled the dark room.

“No,” she said finally. “I’m not a child, and if I went back with them, they would have treated me like one.”

“I wasn’t sure,” I murmured. “If you wanted to go, I wouldn’t have argued.”

“Did you want me to go?” she asked quietly.

“No,” I replied quickly. “No, I want you with me.”

She didn’t reply, and even though it was the truth, I wasn’t sure if I’d said the right thing. Everything was so messed up with us. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say or do anymore. I’d always been the easygoing one, the person who put everyone at ease and made them laugh. But I wasn’t that person for Sarai. My jokes had no effect on her anymore, and my words always seemed to come out wrong.

We lay there in the silence for a long time. Then, without a word, Sarai reached out and grabbed my hand. She rolled onto her side and pulled me with her until I was pressed against her back, my knees notched behind hers. I was so overwhelmed that I had a hard time controlling my breathing. Finally, she was in my arms.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and inhaled the scent of her hair. I’d missed her so goddamn much.

*  *  *

We slept together like a couple of spoons, but when we got up the next morning, nothing had really changed.