We stayed there in the kitchen, with me curled up like a child in Alex’s lap long after my sobs had turned to silent tears. I thought about my parents, and I couldn’t stop myself from imagining that they’d be happy for me. That they’d give Alex a chance. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I daydreamed about how the news would make my mama’s eyes light up, and how my dad’s would grow teary, but he’d pull me into one of his warm hugs and whisper in Hebrew how happy he was for me.

It was useless, but I let myself drift in that place, the dream of them alive and well and celebrating with us. I didn’t let myself dwell on the fact that if they’d lived, I’d be a completely different person. Maybe I wouldn’t have ever even met Alex. Maybe I wouldn’t have distanced myself from the faith I’d grown up in, and I’d already be married to a boy that my parents had introduced me to. I surely would’ve never imagined eloping if my parents had still been with me. If my dad had been alive to walk me down the aisle.

“I know that this hurts,” Alex said, resting his cheek against the top of my head. “But once they get to know me, they’ll love me,” he joked gently. “Everyone does.”

I laughed because I was supposed to, but I didn’t feel it. I was raw, stripped bare, and it felt like I would break at any second. Shatter into a million pieces and float away with the dust motes in the kitchen.

“Have you ever dusted in here?” I asked, sitting up and sliding off his lap as I wiped the makeup from under my eyes.

Alex looked around the room, then shrugged. “Nope.”

The word came so easily that a real laugh popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Alex smiled wide and stretched out his legs. “Why don’t you call Hailey and tell her the big news?” he asked.

“Good idea,” I said, reaching for my phone. I found her name and pressed SEND as I walked out of the room.

“Hey, stranger,” Hailey answered happily, her cheerful voice an instant balm on my emotions. “It feels like we’ve barely talked since Thanksgiving.”

“I know,” I replied. We’d been preparing for finals and barely had time to visit. “Did you have a good holiday?”

“Puhlease,” she said, dragging out the word. “It was boring. I was here. I want to hear about your big trip! How did it go? Did you have fun?”

“It was good,” I replied, dropping down on the edge of the bed. “Alex’s family is awesome.”

“Well, that’s no surprise. Look at Alex,” she said easily. “He’s one of the nicest guys ever.”