Natasha burst out laughing. ‘Listen, you don’t have to answer this question out loud, but at least answer it honestly inside your own head. Can you genuinely say you’ve never looked at Luc – either fully clothed or naked – and not felt that fizz, low in the pit of your stomach? That liquid warmth spread through you? Because I’ve seen it in his eyes when he looks at you and I think you two may need to have a conversation about it.’

Ava raised her eyebrows. ‘Are you done?’

‘Yup,’ Natasha said, sitting upright and pulling her shoulders back.

‘Good, thank you. Now, let’s change the subject.’

‘Okay. I know what I know.’

‘How’s your new girlfriend?’

‘Needy. Were you aware that your pupils dilated when I asked if you’d ever got turned on by Luc?’ Natasha leaned forwards and peered into Ava’s eyes.

‘It’s dark in here. Of course my pupils are dilated. Needy in what way?’

‘Too many phone calls and texts. Too much “hold me until I fall asleep”. Just so we’re clear, it’s not that dark in here and your pupils were just fine earlier.’

The food arrived, distracting them with its beauty and smell. Ava had ordered Natasha the Scottish rib-eye, just barely touched down onto the pan, and herself the Shetland mussels. At last, Natasha stopped talking.

Chapter Fourteen

6 March

Osaki Shozo pressed the buzzer and stood back, waiting to see if he could be saved, wondering if he should let himself be saved. He’d found the card for the helpline on a board in the job centre, which was presumably a last resort. Can’t get a job? Try not to kill yourself. Here are some people who might be able to help. It was either genius or cruel.

‘Yes, hello?’ a dull voice rattled through the tinny speaker.

‘I was hoping to see someone. I need … help. Can you help me?’

‘I’ll come and open up,’ the reply came.

Osaki stepped back and waited for the door to open. He had no idea why he was here. The people inside wouldn’t be able to change anything.

A red-headed young woman opened up, looked Osaki up and down, then stood aside and gestured for him to enter.

‘Follow me; there’s a lounge where you can wait. I’ve a form for you to fill in, but you’re not obliged to answer any questions if you don’t want to.’

The tone of her voice suggested differently, Osaki thought. It seemed rude to refuse to complete the form and Osaki was never rude. That was part of the problem.