Pearly excused himself and slipped away for a pee. He walked across the close-mown field in the late evening sun, the din from the marquee becoming a unified and diminishing orchestration. In contrast the school buildings were quiet and still. The old toilet block by the baths was the closest, with its urinal tiles like stained teeth and the stuttering hiss of the automatic flush from the line of intestinal pipes. In the fourth form Pearly had competed with his mates to see who could piss highest on the wall, but now he had to wait a while before a flow began despite a feeling of urgency. There were gaps between the cubicle doors and concrete floor. Most of the locks were broken. Pearly recalled a senior who used to throw firecrackers under the doors. Decent bangers that you couldn’t buy now because of safety concerns. Everything had become contained, assessed, regulated in an attempt to reduce risk. Life was risk, Pearly considered, and risk enhanced experience.

Earlier in the afternoon the school grounds had been busy, but all was still and empty as he returned past the buildings towards the tents. He had a feeling that was part familiarity and part the contradiction of great remove. So much of the school remained the same; so little of himself was unchanged.

Barely had Pearly regained his seat when the snub-nosed man from the middle marquee came to Pearly’s side and returned his wine glass, still half full. ‘I thought of keeping it, but you might’ve come to get it and given another damn speech,’ he said. He went off before Pearly could think of a reply.

When others were talking and eating, Pearly asked Helen how she thought his speech had gone. ‘Fine, a bit much about yourself perhaps.’ He’d had that feeling himself when he was speaking. It was one thing to go over it in his study, another to have an awareness of an audience when he spoke.

‘I should’ve said more about the staff and board.’

‘It was okay,’ said Helen. ‘It was fine. You didn’t ramble, and people could hear. It was good, really.’

‘The catering women kept moving about with the desserts when I was talking,’ said Pearly. ‘It was distracting for everybody.’