“But like what do you do with your friends?” Jasmine asked. It was a regular thing to ask, but they didn’t know what had happened. They didn’t know what a huge, gaping hole Colette had left in my life.

The tears tried to fill it. Except they were just salt water, and Colette had been a living, breathing, 116-pound human with red hair and bright eyes and confetti freckles and the best hugs and the loudest laugh and the fiercest love.

And tears were just tears.

They couldn’t fill anything.

I ran out of the classroom.

chapter 5

“That teacher made me come get you,” Girl Sam said from outside the bathroom stall. I heard her pop her gum and double-tap her long fingernails on her phone. “You good?”

“I feel like an idiot,” I admitted, staring at my sandals, which were basically too small. My mom hadn’t noticed my toes almost hanging over the edges, and I hadn’t wanted to point it out before I left. “Who runs out of class like that?”

“I’ve seen it happen,” Girl Sam said casually. “Besides, it’s not real school. It’s just camp. It’s not like you’ll get an ‘unexcused’ or whatever.” She waited a few seconds. “Just say your dog died or something, and everyone will be cool.”

“My best friend died recently,” I replied softly, without thinking.

Good going, oversharer. No one wants to be friends with someone who just drops their issues on their doorstep like a bag of flaming poop.

“Ohmygod,” Girl Sam said. It sounded like she put her hand on the stall door. “That’s . . . I’m really sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Just don’t . . . I don’t really want to talk about it. I don’t know why I told you that.”

“Maybe you felt like you were at confession?” she said with a nervous laugh, popping her gum again. I didn’t get the joke.

“Just don’t say anything, okay?”

“No problem,” Girl Sam said. “You don’t know me, but I have a reputation as a vault.” She paused. “Like, there was this really big rumor going around last year, and I knew the truth and didn’t tell anyone because I’d been sworn to secrecy.” She still sounded nervous. “But like even though you don’t know me, if you want to talk about it, I am also a good listener. I’m just saying.”

“Thanks, Sam, that’s really nice.” I stood up and opened the stall door, then smiled at her as best I could. “I’m ready to go back now.”