“Our brains are like a muscle, Desmond: they become conditioned to the strain they must endure. We are an exceptionally adaptive species. We change to survive in the environment in which we exist. For you, that environment has been one of near-constant danger. From the moment that fire took your parents, you have been in physical or emotional danger your entire life. Even after you came to California, you feared someone from Oklahoma would find you, arrest you. You feared you’d lose the money your uncle left you.

“But I believe perhaps the greatest issue affecting you is the people you’ve lost in your life. Your family. The librarian,” he peeked at the notebook again, “Agnes. Your uncle. Everyone you’ve become emotionally invested in has been taken from you. Not just taken, but taken at a moment when you least expected it. Your mind, subconsciously, is now trying to protect you. It has seen this pattern before: you want to love, to care. But the moment you do, the object of your affection is ripped away. It won’t let you. You are at war with your own mind.”

Desmond sat for a moment, considering everything Dr. Janson had said. “Okay. Let’s assume I agree with your diagnosis. How do I fix it?”

“Well, that’s a tougher question. You didn’t get this way overnight, Desmond. Nor will your condition resolve quickly. It will take time. And some faith on your part. Hope is also a powerful thing.”

He encouraged Desmond to continue taking the medication and to establish a regular schedule of two visits per week.

The gloom Desmond felt was a sharp contrast to the euphoria around Silicon Valley. A new company seemed to go public every week, minting millionaires by the hundreds. Desmond was skeptical. Warren Buffett’s adage, “When others are fearful, be greedy; when others are greedy, be fearful,” seemed like good advice in the current environment. He invested his and Peyton’s money in bonds. With a small portion of his funds, he placed bets against companies he thought were poised for a fall. Having been inside a dot-com startup, he could evaluate their technology and read through the BS in the earnings reports and press releases. He spent his days listening to quarterly investor conference calls and researching companies.

Desmond’s bets failed at first. In the fall of 1999 and early 2000, he lost nearly half a million dollars. It seemed to him like the whole world had gone crazy. In 1999, there were 457 IPOs; most were high-tech companies. Of those, 117 saw their stock prices double on the first day of trading. And the euphoria wasn’t limited to new companies. On November 25, 1998, Books-A-Million announced an update to their website. Their stock increased over one thousand percent that week.