Chapters (53)
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Contents
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen
- Chapter Nineteen
- Chapter Twenty
- Chapter Twenty-One
- Chapter Twenty-Two
- Chapter Twenty-Three
- Chapter Twenty-Four
- Chapter Twenty-Five
- Chapter Twenty-Six
- Chapter Twenty-Seven
- Chapter Twenty-Eight
- Chapter Twenty-Nine
- Chapter Thirty
- Chapter Thirty-One
- Chapter Thirty-Two
- Chapter Thirty-Three
- Chapter Thirty-Four
- Chapter Thirty-Five
- Chapter Thirty-Six
- Chapter Thirty-Seven
- Chapter Thirty-Eight
- Chapter Thirty-Nine
- Chapter Forty
- Chapter Forty-One
- Chapter Forty-Two
- Chapter Forty-Three
- Excerpt for Conventionally Yours
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Book Club Treasure Hunt
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Back Cover
“You know it.” I leaned back in my chair. I wasn’t about to admit I’d been working extra hours at the pizza place, trying to replace that money I’d spent on food. I’d spent hours dodging irritable parents and hyped-up kids instead of being here at my favorite game store for the unveiling of a set I’d been looking forward to for months.
Alden made a disgruntled noise. “Can we film his death reaction now?”
“Sure thing.” Professor Tuttle swung his handheld camera in my direction. “Die, Conrad. Make it good.”
On cue, I sank low in my seat, almost sliding under the table as I made noises like I was melting, like a cartoon character getting hit with acid. Elimination reactions were something that Professor Tuttle’s audience always loved, almost as much as his “Gamer Grandpa” game analysis. Gamer Grandpa was one of the most popular Odyssey vlogs, with Professor Tuttle analyzing our in-person card play as well as matches on the wildly successful online version of the game. He made game theory accessible to the masses, and we were all regulars on his channel. Jasper did a lot of the editing for him, Payton did some special effects, and Alden…
Well, Alden did all the winning. He had a combination of the best decks and exactly enough infuriating skill to make him darn near unbeatable.
Oh and me? I liked to think I was the eye candy of the group. Or maybe the comedic relief. I brought the sort of trash-talking our viewers loved. That it never failed to rile Alden was only a bonus. And I’d take being seen as cocky over the truth, which was that I was the professor’s latest charity case—a scrappy player with cheap cards, a fucked-up life, and a missing future.
“Great. That’ll do it for this game.” Setting the handheld camera aside, Professor Tuttle bustled around, disconnecting the overhead cameras that pointed at our play mats.
“They’re going to want the room back soon.” Jasper moved to help, collecting dice and counters and rolling mats. He worked part-time at the game store where we filmed the shows and was the reason why we got the private play room so often.
“Arthur can wait.” Payton was one of the few people not rattled in the slightest by the store owner’s gruff exterior, and they gathered their stuff slowly.
“Give me a minute and I’ll grab you some of the latest card packs, Conrad. I bought two set boxes, so I’ve got some to spare.” Ignoring Payton, Jasper continued to aim for employee of the year, wiping down the table.