“Does that help?” Now I was the one yawning, but I wanted to stay awake if he needed to talk. And maybe also to memorize this moment that felt both achingly sweet and infinitely fragile.

“Holding you always helps.” He kissed my temple. I’d meant the breathing, but I wasn’t going to turn down the compliment. However, somehow I also didn’t believe I was doing enough to assist him through this crisis. I was good for more than being a human body pillow. And for all my ability to scheme and plan my way out of tight situations, I couldn’t help Milo if he wouldn’t let me.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Milo

“Is every song in this thing about being lonely?” I looked up from the program we’d snagged from a stack in the lobby. The tech rehearsal audience was bigger than Kellan had advertised, but Jasper, April, and I had found seats off to the side away from a rowdy mix of undergraduates in the middle of the theater. Mrs. Q had been full of reminders to use hand sanitizer and have April home on time, and Jasper was all about taking his big brother duties seriously.

“I think there’s a deeper meaning than that.” Leaning over Jasper, April pointed at a paragraph that explained how they’d picked the various musical numbers for the revue. It was a mix of well-known hits and newer songs. “It’s iconic songs of personal power.”

“Way to quote the program.” Jasper laughed from in between us. “Speaking of alone… Any luck with your…new project?”

He gave me a pointed look. We hadn’t had much time to talk that day. I’d had to leave while he was still asleep to make the bus to work for the early shift I was scheduled for. I couldn’t afford to miss work, not right then. Then after work, Jasper had been in class, so I’d hung out in the Gracehaven library, scrolling through housing ads and trying not to get too discouraged by dead ends.

“Maybe,” I answered cagily, not wanting to involve April in my drama.

“Good.” Jasper had brought me soup from the dining hall after his class. He was so good at the caretaking thing, but nonetheless I hated how much I needed him. I wanted to solve my own problems, and he made it too easy to sink into his cozy nest of favors and nice gestures. Unsurprisingly, I hadn’t told him how fruitless my searching had been when we’d fetched April together. And now he was all questions. “What about—”

“It’s starting.” April shushed us, and I was grateful for the distraction.