I held up both hands. “I didn’t mean that being with you is a failure.”

“No? Because it sure seems like you’re trying to punish yourself for being gay, chalking that up as one more black mark Bruno is going to hold against you.”

“He stood up for me. All the time with Dad.” I’d lost Dad, if I’d ever really had him. I’d lost James and Luther and a bunch of other pointless acquaintances. But I couldn’t lose Bruno too. I just couldn’t, and I needed Jasper to understand that. “He’d tell Dad to lay off me or he’d help me do my chores faster. And then when I had the accident—”

“I get it. He’s been there for you. And you did make a big mistake with the cards. Which is why I want to play George for you. If it’s that important to you that Bruno not know, let me do this for you. For us.”

The thought of him playing George filled me with such rage and shame. Stepping back and letting him do that for me was more than I could bear. My back tensed, every muscle rigid. Jasper was always so quick with the solutions, the genius right answers, and I loved that about him, but I also simply couldn’t stomach the thought of turning over my problems to him for the quick fix.

“This is my mess. I’ll sort it out. Somehow.”

“On your own,” Jasper said flatly.

“I need to.” I didn’t know how I could expect him to understand when I didn’t fully get it either, but fresh resolve drove me, like a pebble of an idea had started rolling and now it was a boulder and I couldn’t stop it. And what was worse, I didn’t know whether I should stop, whether my pride was about to trash what was left of my life or whether this was me making a long overdue stand.

“You came to me, you know. You asked me to help—”

“I know. And you’ve done so, so much. I can never repay you.” I crossed the distance between us, but his expression was guarded, eyes narrow, fists clenched.

“I don’t want repayment. I like helping you. It’s what friends do. And we’re friends, right?”

“More than. You know that.” I reached a hand toward him, but he didn’t take it.

“Do I? Because you’re not acting the most like it right now.”

“Sorry. It’s because we’re friends—boyfriends—that I don’t want you playing George. I don’t want you to have to rescue me.” I wasn’t the same guy who had walked into this game store all those weeks ago, and I needed to prove that to both of us. “I want to be the one protecting you sometimes too. And that includes from creeps.”