She faked casual pretty well, but I caught on because I hid my own secrets. I hesitated, not sure if allowing her to traipse through Venice with Ian was a good idea. “He can drink, you can’t,” I pointed out. “I don’t want you going to clubs or bars.”

“I won’t. Ian isn’t a big partier. We just want to see the city at night and catch a meal. Listen, we’ve all been together nonstop. I just want a break with someone my own age.”

“He’s four years older,” I said.

“I think it’s fine,” Mom interrupted. “He’s a good boy. I’ve watched him with his parents. She’s young and needs a break from us old people.”

Annoyance flickered. Had she already forgotten about Allegra being busted with a bunch of delinquents? Why was I always the bad guy? Every time I tried to discipline my daughter, Mom tried to cut in and make excuses for her behavior. “Maybe if she hadn’t been arrested for pot I’d be more inclined to let her explore,” I said.

Allegra glared across the table. “Maybe if you’d been around more, I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble,” she shot back, her face flushed with temper. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry. It’s not like I’ve been going to parties every weekend, or drinking in my room, or messing up my grades. I’ve been perfect, just like you always wanted. Don’t I get to make a few mistakes without hearing about it for the rest of my life?”

The waiter delivered our food, cutting off the rest of her tirade. I didn’t respond, and we all concentrated on our lunch amid a tense silence. I kept going over her words about me demanding perfection from her. Was I really like that? Yes, I pushed hard because I saw all of her amazing potential. Had she craved more attention from me? Had I believed I was giving her the freedom and space she wanted, but the entire time, she’d just wanted me to be with her?

Was that the reason she was suddenly doing weed and hanging with the wrong crowd? To force me to finally pay attention?

I remember pushing Mom away at her age, desperate to have my own life independent of her. Of course, it was my father I was always chasing after. He was the elusive parent whose approval or attention reinvigorated my drive to be better. But Allegra only had me. Maybe that was why she’d developed such a close relationship with her grandmother. Without a father, she’d needed more from me.

And I’d failed her.