‘I was thinking that if the timing works maybe I could pop over to your place later and get a better sense of—’

‘The park,’ he stated abruptly. ‘Seventh Avenue entrance. This afternoon is good.’

‘Well, I was actually hoping that maybe seeing you in a more relaxed environment at home—’

‘I’m at home on the ice. And that’s out of the question at the moment,’ he added bitterly. ‘Sorry, but I value my privacy and I don’t like anyone in my personal space. What I do like is the park.’

Hannah exhaled. ‘Fine. The park.’

Ward hung up and immediately felt bad. He knew he’d been a little rough on Hannah just now, and even though he was in serious pain and even more irritable after talking to his mother, that was no excuse. She was just doing her job in trying to make it seem like he was a decent human being.

The problem was that he wasn’t a decent human being. If he was, he wouldn’t always wind up alone, no matter how hard he tried.

One of his therapists (of which there had been too many) told him that he had avoidant attachment issues – which meant he wanted someone to share his life with but when he had had someone like that, he’d tended to push them away.

‘OK, so if I want to share my life with someone and I find someone that I can spend my life with, why would I push them away?’

‘You push them away because it’s what you’re used to. Although it’s painful to break away, it’s even more painful to navigate a relationship where you haven’t been abandoned.’

Ward wasn’t so sure about that, but it was as good an explanation as any for why there was this huge, gaping hole in his life. Even as a kid growing up he’d always felt like an outsider, like he didn’t quite fit. And as he got older, the world began to feel even more off-kilter – kinda like everyone else in the game was able to play it without thinking, yet nobody had given him the rules. The only place he’d ever felt truly at ease, all the parts working easily and in synch, was on the ice.

For the most part, people and how they behaved remained a mystery to him.

When Melanie had come along, he’d begun to think that his luck might be turning. The two of them had seemed like a great match – both able to focus on their respective careers and still have time for each other. If she’d given them a chance, he was certain he could have made things work. She hadn’t given him a chance, though.