I’d sworn off men – and wished that one, in particular, would die a heinous death – and I was spending time with a guy who I could talk to easily, who was becoming a good friend, and who I increasingly found attractive. And he was clearly attracted to me too. And even though he said all that stuff about love and sex and not getting close to anyone, wasn’t that what we were doing? Getting close? And what if we lived in the same city? Would we abandon these self-protecting philosophies? Would we be together?

‘I should go to bed,’ I said suddenly. Seeing as I’d asked myself some fairly profound questions, I thought it was the best thing to do. I got up, nearly falling on top of him in the process. He helped me right myself with a steady hand.

‘Sarah …’ He looked as if he wanted to say something. I couldn’t read his expression, but I felt like shit. I’d made him dredge up all the stuff he’d locked away so intently, and now I was battling with my own edicts about love and sex.

He didn’t finish his thought, so I said goodnight and went below deck. Shortly after, I heard him come below and close the door to his cabin. I quickly got ready for bed and was about to climb into my bunk when I heard his door open. I stood still, listening. There was a faint knock on my door.

I opened it a few centimetres, and we locked eyes. ‘I’m sorry …’ we both said at the same time. We laughed – nervous laughter.

‘You go first,’ he said.

‘I’m sorry I dragged all of that up. I didn’t mean to pry or to make you feel bad.’

‘I know. It’s fine, really. The weird thing is, I’ve never been able to express it like that before. It’s the first time I’ve said a lot of that stuff, but it’s all good. I promise I’m not upset.’

I sighed, relieved. ‘So, what are you sorry about?’

He paused, as though he was considering his words carefully. ‘After you came down here, I realised I must be confusing the hell out of you. I went on this whole big rant about never being with anyone ever again, and yet it must be really obvious that I like you. I mean, like like you.’

I nodded. So, I didn’t imagine it.