‘She met someone else – she didn’t cheat or anything. She ended it because she realised that if she had feelings for someone else, then she probably wasn’t in love with me anymore.’

‘Oh.’ I couldn’t help but feel for him. It had clearly affected him. I wondered if people felt the same way towards me when I told them about Neil. I needed to stop talking about Neil – I didn’t want anyone’s pity.

Josh was frowning. I promised myself to drop the subject – as soon as I asked one more thing. ‘So, you’ve not dated, or had sex, or anything since then?’

‘No.’

‘Wow!’ I couldn’t help it – it just came out. Fortunately, Josh seemed undeterred by my amazement.

‘I realised after we broke up that loving her was like an addiction – I had become addicted to feeling like that, being part of a couple, I mean. And it wasn’t so much that I missed her – I mean, I did – but it was more that I missed the feeling of being part of something, the relationship itself. And it sucked. I felt like shit. And I couldn’t understand why anyone would risk feeling like that. I never wanted to feel like that again. So, I’ve stayed away. I’m free and clear of it.’

I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I stayed silent.

He continued, ‘And …’ he laughed wryly ‘… so many people tell me I just haven’t met the right woman yet – as if that’s going to change my whole way of thinking.’ I couldn’t help but think that maybe they were right, but I didn’t say it. I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. And I certainly didn’t want him thinking that I thought I was the right woman.

I mean, I was just someone he met on holiday. We would probably never even see each other again after the trip, so I was hardly the one to convert him back to love.

We didn’t speak for a while. My heart ached a little for him. He seemed so raw, even though this had happened years before. It was as though he carried this around with him right below the surface, which I’d somehow scratched, and there it was in all its fresh, gory glory.

And then my mind went where it absolutely shouldn’t have.