Hey, you okay? I’m sorry, Del. Sorry for this. Omar’s a good guy but I am just sorry you have to go through this shit.

It was far from over. I had to take a one-month class on the tenets of Islam, learn how to pray, learn how to say the Al Fatihah and then sit for a test. And if I passed, we had to attend marriage camp over two weekends.

I felt like crying. This was the last thing I ever thought I would do. I didn’t want a new name, I didn’t want to become a Muslim. Imran leaned over and grabbed my hand. Hey, just do it, you know. Just do what they ask you to do. Don’t question anything, okay? It’ll be over soon enough… I nodded and looked out the window. I told myself that it was worth it. That Omar was worth it. That it was the only way we could be together, exist as husband and wife in the eyes of the law.

Traffic was thick. We inched our way past the National Museum and then all the way down Jalan Bangsar. It was almost lunchtime on a Friday and people were making their way to the mosques for prayers. It was a humid, sticky afternoon. Imran pulled hard on his cigarette. Damn, I should have taken the shortcut…now we’re stuck in traffic. I took a drag of my cigarette and felt a small wave of nausea come over me.

What do you mean, it’s pointless? What kind of legal advice is that?

Sumi, Marina and I were seated in the office of the drop-in centre in Chow Kit. Marina pulled herself off the couch next to me, stood tall in her heels and lit a cigarette. Kak Su—or Big Sister Su—was seated at a table piled with files. She lit up a cigarette too.

Sumi sighed and repeated what she had said earlier. Making a police report when it was a cop who raped you is not going to work. You didn’t struggle, there was no force. You basically did what he wanted you to do.

Marina was livid. But he raped me! Forced me to suck his cock! What could I do? She wrung her hands in frustration.

Sumi nodded. Yes, I understand, but I am also trying to make you realise that…

That what? Isn’t oral sex a crime here? Look at what happened to Anwar! He is in jail supposedly for this, right?

Sumi said, Sodomy, it’s for sodomy.

Same thing isn’t it? Marina shot back. Rape is rape!