Imran had turned a bright red and his forehead started to glisten with sweat, so I quickly read the Shahadah, which was on a piece of paper she pushed into my hand. I adjusted my headscarf, feeling self-conscious; it wasn’t a tudung like hers, but a light silk shawl I’d simply wrapped around my head. I read it silently a few times and when I was ready, took a deep breath.

Ashadu Allah Ilaha Illalah, Muhammad Ar Rasullullah.

I said it twice. It sounded slightly better the second time.

There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his Prophet.

There it was. My fate had changed. I was no longer a heathen, I was cleansed of all my sins and I would go to heaven when I die.

There was a stack of forms that had to be filled in. I needed dates, specifics of the wedding, or nikah. Omar and I had decided on a Muslim name, Leila, which meant “night”. I started filling out the forms. The lady in the tudung gave me a laminated card, which stated “Islam, Nur Leila binti Abdullah @ Delonix Regia”. She smiled as if to say, You’re one of us now.

The forms needed Omar’s signature so I said that I would bring them all back in a few days. I could see that Imran was becoming more and more agitated and the lady in the tudung was simply not letting up. She kept glaring at him and poor Imran looked like he just wanted to disappear into the flowery upholstery that covered the chair he was sitting on.

We left and as we walked out towards the parking lot, Imran finally burst.

Fucking cunt. Did you see the way she looked at me? Like I was some kind of idiot. Bloody hell, who the fuck does she think she is? Some low-life clerk in some fucked up government institution. This is it, Del! I am never getting married in this country. So what if I can’t pronounce a bunch of words in Arabic, there is no need to make me feel like an infidel! Cunt… Fucking cunt! I hope her husband gives her the clap. I wouldn’t fuck her if she was the last woman on this fucking planet… Fuck off!

He stormed around the parking lot, smoked two cigarettes, swore some more until he was calm. We drove in silence until another outburst.

I’m sorry, Del, I just think this is bloody ridiculous. I don’t understand why they make it so hard for two people to get married. It’s fucked up! It’s downright intimidation. What kind of country is this? It’s barbaric! Fucked up!

I kept silent. The kind of dread I felt was not unreasonable. I was now a Muslim. Forced to convert, like so many others. Forced to embrace a religion I did not want.