She patted my hand, waved to a waiter, pointed to my latte and said, Okay… I know this might be hard for you…Oh well, I’ll just come out and say it. She took a breath and continued. We have decided to try and adopt. I can’t have a baby, that’s clear and the IVF has made me so fat. Look at me! I’m not even menopausal yet, these bloody hormones, they just make you so fat! So, yes, we’re going to adopt!

I gulped my café latte and sputtered.

Adopt? My hands started shaking and I felt a cold shiver on my neck. How?

Sumi continued, unperturbed. Well, there are ways, you know. I know a couple of people who’ve recently just adopted baby girls, it’s all legit of course, paperwork and all, you pay for quick service but yes… we’ve been talking about it and so, what do you think? Her café latte appeared and she took a cultured sip.

I said quietly, my eyes downcast. Good luck, I hope you find a child who… deserves a home like yours.

It was as if she didn’t hear me. And then she told me about their recent holiday in Barcelona, where they ate non-stop oh my god, Iberico ham, the tapas! So fresh, ahh the wine, the shopping, the leather shoes, the hand stitching! Fairman went crazy, this villa, oh my god the view of the vineyards, olive oil from the trees! The scent of lemons in the morning… A run-down of what they saw and a slew of haphazardly-linked vignettes about her life since being Mrs Fairman. And such. Then it was onto the baby. The monologue continued. I wanted to leave, just run out the door, but I forced myself to stay, to listen to her drone on and on. I was feeling unhinged, the conversation drifting precariously into territory I really did not want to venture into.

You’re not really a woman until you have a child and I feel so inadequate, but Fairman is okay with it, he just thinks that we can have more freedom without lugging a baby around whenever we feel like taking off, but then I ask myself, how long can I do this for? This kind of jet-setting will wear off after a while and then what? I don’t need to work so what the hell was I supposed to do? Socialise? Find a charity? Orphans? Shop? If I am going to do all that then I might as well have a child, right? After all there are so many kids who need loving homes and I think it would do me good, what do you think? I’m sorry for rambling on and on but you know sometimes I am by myself for days and days and all I do is just ramble on and on…