He never wanted to let her go, but he didn’t want to crush her. He slid onto his side, holding her against him. “I wish you hadn’t had to do that,” she said in a raw whisper.

“So do I,” he said fervently. “We have this one stolen night, but getting you with child would be a disastrous complication on top of a mountain of complications.”

“I know.” She gently brushed back damp hair that had fallen over his forehead, her expression wistful in the firelight. “But I would love to have another child and have it with you.”

Imagining them creating a child together was bittersweet pleasure. He wanted that with a yearning that equaled hers. But as he drew the covers over them to keep out the chill night, he bleakly recognized what a mistake it had been for them to become lovers.

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 19

Kendra drowsed in Lucas’s arms, her head on his shoulder and his breath stirring her hair. She’d never known such intimacy with a man before. Not just the passion, amazing and eye-opening as that had been, but the tenderness. “You were right that this was a bad idea, Lucas,” she whispered. “Because I can’t bear to think we may never lie together again.”

She’d thought he was asleep, but he replied in a voice as low as hers. “I feel the same way. Contented. Happy. Not wanting to move. Though eventually I should return to my room, having claimed we needed it because I snore.”

She smiled into the darkness, which was lit only by the glow of the coal fire. “You haven’t snored yet, but more research is needed to be sure.” Then she wished she hadn’t said that because there would be no more opportunities for research. Not in the foreseeable future.

He brushed his fingers through her hair. “We’ve already had one miracle in discovering your daughter. Maybe more miracles lie in the future.”

“I like that idea. I think you’re my good angel, Lucas. When we met at the Clantons’ ball, I was paralyzed with anger and uncertainty. Now I have friends and allies and hope.” And a daughter and a lover, even if she would see neither of them as much as she’d like.

He laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s good angel.” His hand slid down her body, bringing a different kind of warmth. “My thoughts now are distinctly unangelic.”

She caught her breath and began her own explorations of his body. “If we only have a few more hours, let us not waste them.”

They didn’t.

* * *

Kendra tried to hide her nerves when they returned to Mrs. Lowell’s the next morning. Lucas noticed, of course. “Steady on,” he murmured. “Today will be easier than yesterday.”