Back Oh, Money! Money!
Chapters (30)
  1. OH, MONEY! MONEY!
  2. *
  3. Contents
  4. *
  5. Chapter I - Exit Mr. Stanley G. Fulton
  6. Chapter II - Enter Mr. John Smith
  7. Chapter III - The Small Boy at the Keyhole
  8. Chapter IV - In Search of Some Dates
  9. Chapter V - In Miss Flora's Album
  10. Chapter VI - Poor Maggie
  11. Chapter VII - Poor Maggie and Some Others
  12. Chapter VIII - A Santa Claus Held Up
  13. Chapter IX - "Dear Cousin Stanley"
  14. Chapter X - What Does it Matter?
  15. Chapter XI - Santa Claus Arrives
  16. Chapter XII - The Toys Rattle Out
  17. Chapter XIII - The Dancing Begins
  18. Chapter XIV - From Me to You with Love
  19. Chapter XV - In Search of Rest
  20. Chapter XVI - The Fly in the Ointment
  21. Chapter XVII - An Ambassador of Cupid's
  22. Chapter XVIII - Just a Matter of Begging
  23. Chapter XIX - Still Other Flies
  24. Chapter XX - Frankenstein: Being a Letter from John Smith to Edward D. Norton, Attorney at Law
  25. Chapter XXI - Sympathies Misplaced
  26. Chapter XXII - With Every Jim a James
  27. Chapter XXIII - Reflections—Mirrored and Otherwise
  28. Chapter XXIV - That Miserable Money
  29. Chapter XXV - Exit Mr. John Smith
  30. Chapter XXVI - Reenter Mr. Stanley G. Fulton

"Doesn't appeal to me, somehow. Oh, of course it ought to, but—it just doesn't. That's all. Maybe if I was a college man myself; but— well, I had to dig for what education I got."

"Very well—charities, then. There are numberless organizations that— "He stopped abruptly at the other's uplifted hand.

"Organizations! Good Heavens, I should think there were! I tried 'em once. I got that philanthropic bee in my bonnet, and I gave thousands, tens of thousands to 'em. Then I got to wondering where the money went."

Unexpectedly the lawyer chuckled.

"You never did like to invest without investigating, Fulton," he observed.

With only a shrug for an answer the other plunged on.

"Now, understand. I'm not saying that organized charity isn't all right, and doesn't do good, of course. Neither am I prepared to propose anything to take its place. And maybe the two or three I dealt with were particularly addicted to the sort of thing I objected to. But, honestly, Ned, if you'd lost heart and friends and money, and were just ready to chuck the whole shooting-match, how would you like to become a 'Case,' say, number twenty-three thousand seven hundred and forty-one, ticketed and docketed, and duly apportioned off to a six-by-nine rule of 'do this' and 'do that,' while a dozen spectacled eyes watched you being cleaned up and regulated and wound up with a key made of just so much and no more pats and preachments carefully weighed and labeled? How WOULD you like it?"

The lawyer laughed.

"I know; but, my dear fellow, what would you have? Surely, UNorganized charity and promiscuous giving is worse—"

"Oh, yes, I've tried that way, too," shrugged the other. "There was a time when every Tom, Dick, and Harry, with a run-down shoe and a ragged coat, could count on me for a ten-spot by just holding out his hand, no questions asked. Then a serious-eyed little woman sternly told me one day that the indiscriminate charity of a millionaire was not only a curse to any community, but a corruption to the whole state. I believe she kindly included the nation, as well, bless her! And I thought I was doing good!" "What a blow—to you!" There was a whimsical smile in the lawyer's eyes.