The two ants made a rapid descent through the darkness. At the nasal cavity, they took a sharp turn and quickly reached the entrance to the respiratory tract. They waited quietly for the dinosaur to inhale before they jumped, riding the gale through the windpipe and into the lungs. Through the gloom they heard a hissing, like a rain shower in the forest at night. This was the sound of gaseous exchange taking place in the air sacs. They could also hear a faint hum coming from the outside world – the sound of the three-dimensional scanner in operation. After a few minutes, someone spoke outside. Though the voice was much fainter down there than in the dinosaur’s skull, the ants could still make out the words being said.

‘Minister, the scan is complete. No abnormalities were detected.’

The ants in the lungs felt the air pressure drop dramatically as the dinosaur breathed a sigh of relief.

‘This is your third elective scan of the night, Minister, and the third time the results have come up as normal. I really do think you are worrying too much.’

‘Worrying too much? What do you fools know?’ The minister’s voice was extremely agitated now, the vibrations it produced reaching almost fatal levels for the stowaway soldier ants. It was lucky for them that they were no longer in the eardrum danger zone. ‘It seems I am the only clear-headed dinosaur in the whole of Gondwana. Everyone else carps on and on about the Laurasian threat, pouring all of their efforts into preparing for nuclear war with the republic, and yet the real enemy is quite literally under our noses – inside our blasted noses, probably – and it appears I am the only one who understands that.’

‘But… none of the scans we’ve conducted over the last few days have shown any abnormalities.’

‘I wonder if your machines are working correctly.’

‘There shouldn’t be anything wrong with the machines, Minister. We’ve tested all of the scanners in the imperial infirmary. And this time, as per your instructions, we borrowed a scanner from another big hospital in Boulder City. The results have all been identical.’

The interior minister settled his enormous bulk back down on his bed and drifted off into another troubled sleep. The ant saboteurs quickly left his lungs, made a hasty exit through the right nostril, and scurried down off the bed, across the floor and out of the bedroom.