Unbeknown to Dadaeus, however, on the previous day, twenty ants had lain hidden in the imperial infirmary. When night fell, they had infiltrated the infirmary’s six scanners and destroyed a particular microchip in each of them – microchips that were too small for the dinosaurs to see. After the damage was done, the scanners operated normally but with a 20 per cent loss of accuracy. It was this reduction in accuracy that caused the scanner to miss something in Dadaeus’s skull – a tiny object, just one-tenth of the size of a grain of rice, covertly planted by the surgical team on the emperor’s cerebral artery. The tiny object was a timed mine-grain. 1,000 years earlier, in the First Dinosaur–Ant War, ant soldiers had bitten through the same artery in the brain of Major General Ixta (he of the charming ‘pissing on your toy sandpit of a city’ quote) just before he haemorrhaged to death on the battlefield outside the Ivory Citadel.

The mine-grain had been set to detonate in 660 hours. In those days, Earth rotated faster than it does today, and there were only twenty-two hours in a day, which meant that in exactly one month, the mine-grain in the emperor’s brain would explode.

13

The Final War

‘The facts are clear: either the ants eliminate the dinosaurs or both species perish together,’ Supreme Consul Kachika declared, addressing the senate of the Ant Federation from the speaker’s podium.

‘I agree with the Supreme Consul,’ said Senator Birubi, waving her antennae from her seat. ‘If current trends continue, one of two fates awaits Earth’s biosphere. It will either be fatally poisoned by pollution from the dinosaurs’ industries or it will be obliterated in a nuclear war between the great dinosaur powers of Gondwana and Laurasia.’

The other ant senators responded with feverish agreement.

‘Yes, it’s time to make a decision!’

‘Exterminate the dinosaurs and save civilisation!’

‘We must act now! Without delay!’

‘Will everyone please calm down!’ Professor Joya, chief scientist of the Ant Federation, waggled her antennae to quell the uproar. When some semblance of order had returned to the room, she continued. ‘Remember that the symbiotic relationship between ants and dinosaurs has lasted for more than two millennia. Our alliance is the cornerstone of civilisation on Earth. If this alliance disintegrates and the dinosaurs are destroyed, can ant civilisation really continue unsupported?’ She tried to engage the attention of the senators sitting closest to her, but not one of them would look directly at her. ‘The benefits dinosaurs derive from us ants are well documented and understood. But we must not underestimate what we receive in return. Yes, that includes basic material necessities. But there is more, much more, though it is intangible and hard to quantify. Dinosaur ideas and scientific knowledge are crucial to ant civilisation, and we would be foolhardy to ignore that.’