In that moment Tennal hated the whole universe. “So you do talk back,” he said. He raised his empty cup in a toast. “To the gallant impulses of the officer class! Long may those last.” He tossed his cup into the recycler with unnecessary force and fished in his pocket. The sedative strip was still there: medical yellow and stiff to the touch. He slapped it onto his wrist, where the microteeth bit and the ends closed around the bones of his wrist like a bracelet.

“Tennal,” Surit said.

“I’m going to bed,” Tennal said. He kicked his shoes off and fell onto the stupid hard bed, fully clothed, and rolled to face the wall. “You can court-martial me tomorrow.” He should have known he couldn’t keep this up. He could barely be likeable for an hour at a time. If Surit gave up on him, and Tennal ended up stuck in the army with a sync like the good little marionette his aunt wanted, it was going to be his own Lights-forsaken fault.

CHAPTER 11

Tennal had crashed and burned worse before, though not for stakes this high. He went into the next morning knowing he’d fucked up—it had only been a matter of time—and grimly put together an apology in preparation. He could at least limit the damage.

When he tried out his apology over breakfast, Surit gave him a blank stare.

Tennal’s insides curdled. He’d known he was going to ruin things, but even so, he’d thought he might have more time. He didn’t know what he was going to do now. Steal a shuttle and dive into chaotic space, maybe. He was out of options.

“No, I think I should apologize,” Surit said.

“What?”

Surit seemed entirely sincere. “I could have handled that better. I’m sorry. We’re under a lot of strain, and I wasn’t thinking straight.”

It took Tennal a few moments to shut his mouth. “You weren’t, were you?”

“The regulations—”

“Don’t,” Tennal said. “I cannot take you reciting the military sexual conduct regulations to me over breakfast. I will mutiny.” Surit almost cracked a smile. Tennal forced himself to look away and return to his food. It made sense to drop the subject before Surit wrote himself up for breaking fraternization rules, which seemed like something he would do.

Maybe Tennal had been wrong. Maybe Surit would help him out for two weeks without anything in return, though Tennal didn’t understand why. But Tennal could handle another two weeks. He had to.

After breakfast, and another fleet-wide morning meeting where Tennal virtuously accompanied Surit and said nothing at all, Tennal’s wristband pinged for the start of his shift. That heralded the start of something Tennal would not have believed he would ever end up trying: a serious attempt to fit into army life.